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This was written by one of my daughters friends and sent to her. My daughter passed it in to me. It is kinda jumbled but boy when I read and thought about this, what a concept.


Do you know
what the shamrock represents>?
umm..no ?
unity.
hmm...
This little conversation took place AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED IN MY HEAD V V VV V V V V V please be carful what you say to me...

LOL

I have about 3 plants I thought to myself ...maybe 5~ three show cased none the less.... numerous dirt pots in the corners of my home, I STILL water in hope.
this morning as I do the dishes I have one of my oldest Shammys... sitting on the counter.. I watered it, I smile at it ..in the winter I think of it like a bonsai tree...my miniature world I have always reveled in but don't partake of when its cold outside... it is a miniature of a place I would go to to sit with God ..and praise Him for the music, and poetry in NAture and my self ..
It is my "church"
If you don't understand "WE are ONE' as the Natives recognize all things then you are REALLY missing the heart of the word LIFE

I thought about it ... it looks beautiful I love my Shammy/rock.. skimpy...weathered...ewww bugs too. I think its "NATURAL" beauty. The strands of clover tall and wavering over the heart shaped rock remind me of the evergreens & the feather ..the wise old trees from the lil story One feather and the Breeze...
Trees hold the energy & secrets of time, life and loyalty..love nurture nurture.
********
OK so its not like the NEW ones in the living room ..full big and thick but this one has been here for a long time with me and my thoughts ..my conversations with friends, my moods... dinners..my prayerful duties I get with tears (sometimes.)
********************
I looked again and I could hear my Sister snip... what is that?
Why would you keep that?
(The little pot with dirt and a rock on the counter by the sink.....)
********
There have been times i subconsciously would think why do i keep tending this dirt pot? Today all things came together. SHWING**

I thought of my Garden..MY yard poem..
Welcome to my garden....
where the
Rocks are soft
butterflies are brave and the bees...in my garden, are friendly
come have a drink and rest awhile.
I said that one day looking at my yard
***************************
NOw Offended.. cuz I know that she throws things away as soon as they don't suit her any longer and she can buy more..better... stylish...fresh ...whatever!?
****************************
What do you MEAN !!?? I snapped back.. WTF?!

That?! I pointed at my precious pot of dirt and a stone..as she glared at it... ( here is when my warrior goddess JUMPS to protect and defend)
...I got a lump in my throat so fast...

my heart.. my soul ...my true self.... ?!

and all in an instant the tears were right there and kind of shocked at myself ... but still ... it was an immediate reaction....
That isn't dirt! That ... THAT is HOPE!
My HOPE! (oh... so that is why I keep it to practice hope)

Why do I keep that mostly dirt and rock on my counter next to me while I do dishes?..... Cause I live with a hope because I can, b'cuz what GOD has gotten my thru.
"THAT" is my relationship with the Great Spirit, there have been so many times that I know I looked just like that ... Nothing/dirt pot..(in the way too)

....yet sitting up above it all ...patient , kind , and funny and cheering for me ..NOT giving up on ME was & is
my rock,my shield, my hope, my salvation,
my SUN coaxing me gently through yet another wild season of LIFE!
How many times have we been SO hurt, angry, guilty, caught up caught in ... forgiving OR blaming everyone and never seeing our part in our lives?
that we weren't walking in ouuur own moccassins?...that we weren't even present in what we do & have done for others... being
proud of the things we were doing...or forgiving OURSELVES?
and we were doing them 'cause we are good but the connection got broke somewhere and rather than feeling the joy... of our efforts and courage and strength ... we went thru the motions like zombies?...missing laughter and smiles The Blessings it is the attitude not the action/perfection that heals others
and yourself. Energy follows intention.make it good.
*
Where would i be if God didn't find the rock a beautiful spot to sit and make himself comfy to wait ...while I stubbornly struggle thru the "h/dirt" ( He can't help us unless we ask for it & allow change to bring it. "ego" edges out GOD)
*
to push thru reaching upward because I want to begin again...I want more of my time in the SON...season! LIVING IN JOY (balanced)

He let me ...in my time...He was cheering for me sending me grace and energy.
Its worth it ...you can do it ... its what its all about..LIVE while you can
FREE...WILD and BEAUTIFUL! In the game.

GOD always stay & waits by our side ...watches me grow... lets me struggle..learn about the best thing in life there is to know myself (in all my wonderful stubborn silly ways) He waits... (i'm thinking HE laughs and sez "SELF,wow, out did myself with this one")

He did't let me go ... He let me grow. I DID not get thrown out when I was dark, down and dirty...

yep ... that is it!!!.......... I like to stay in that place of hope all the time... now.

and the seasons?...like anything ...once you get used to the fact they come and go.... that change is constant its becomes a new season cuz now you can ask..and choose.
what will you do about it ?
look back with guilt or move on with knowledge?
run?
hide?
pout?
punch?
hate ur self?
drink?
drug?
or ROOOOOOooLL BABY?!!
RIDE THAT WAVE?
CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN!
HIT THAT TARGET
WALK THAT PATH
MAKE A NEW TRAIL
YOU CAN BE ON THE CURB OR IN THE PARADE...HA!
TAKE THAT KIDDIES!
Life is the greatest adventure that you can't get out of & my friend THE clock is running..your in!ur on! somewhere you already shouted, "BRING IT"
SO now that ur here...
choose your weapon...take your stand and YOU BET ...CARRY THAT ATTITUDE! With a grateful heart
WE ARE THE FLOWERS OF THE PLANET in thiS DIRT POT
WE ARE THE SEEDS
AND HE IS UP THERE SITTING TENDIN TO US & WATCHING AND HOPING WE CHOOSE TO GRAB LIFE BY THE BALLS AND FIND THE JOYRIDE IN THE WILD RUSH IT CARRIES on ....IF WE LET IT.

....IF you can begin to look for the beautiful parts, even if it is a terrible time of the year... you Can begin to recognize faith: it is believing in what we cannot even see
and leads us to HAVE hope.........
ANYWHERE you find yourself!

Thank you Rocki. How true this is.



I ASKED FOR




I asked for strength.
My Higher Power gave me difficulties to make me
strong.




I asked for wisdom.
My Higher Power gave me problems to solve.




I asked for prosperity.
My Higher Power gave me brawn and brain to
work.




I asked for courage.
My Higher Power gave me dangers to overcome.




I asked for patience.
My Higher Power placed me in situations where I
was forced to wait.




I asked for love.
My Higher Power gave me troubled people to help.




I asked for favors.
My Higher Power gave me opportunities.




I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.

Tomorrow, by the grace of God I will be six months sober. And although I don't think I have grown.....I look back at my blogs and at my journal and I have really changed ( not 100%, but there is some change) I am starting to accept life on lifes terms. It is no longer my will (well most of the time) it is God's will. He does have a plan for me and I must be patient. I am becoming a stronger person....the tears don't come as often now. And I am starting to accept that at this point my children are in a better place. It sure ain't easy but I try. I have been attending a weekly Step meeting and I think this has helped me out alot. Thank you to everyone here for your support and words of encouragement when I really needed them.I shall move forward "One Day at a Time"

So not much happened in court today. My lawyer did not have the discovery yet so no settlement could be made. New court dates the end of April and the beginning of May. Alot of things are bothering about today though. Julie (the CPS worker) was there and will be at all of the court hearings. I do not like her for many reasons. First of all I know I did wrong by taking Dan to meetings but I was not doing it to see if I could get away with it. I did it because I did not want him to drink! (yes, I know, Putting his sobriety before mine) But I feel alot of our situation could have been avoided if she had listened and answered our questions. for instance, once I called with a serious question and her reponse to me was "You are a big girl, you do what you want" I would not have asked for advice if I didn't want it. Or another good one is I would call repeatedly and not get a return call. One day I came home from work and there was a message on my answering machine stating she would return my calls if I left a phone number. Ok, I always left a phone number and if you didn't have a phone number how did you leave this message. And then there is all the bulls**t she has put Melissa through. She would not return Melissa's calls, She promised her all kinds of assistance.(Melissa is just getting the assistance, and the kids have been there since november.) I get the impression Julie thinks she is God.Then I get home from court and my father calls to see how we made out. After explaining everything he says something like "you should just go get the kids and bring them home. This is America not Russia. Melissa is young. She needs to get a job" OK so now I am speechless because either I will holler at him or I will cry. I would love to go and get the kids, but does he realize I would NEVER get them back if I did something like that. I know I have caused him alot of pain BUT I am in pain too. I suffer daily!! Doesn't ANYONE get that, Then my mother inlaw shows up and she is always so negative. She bitched because we had an unreliable vehicles and now she is bitching because we got a reliable one. WTF! I think she thinks I am not good enough for her son when if anything it would be more likely to be the other way around. So could my day get worst? YES!! my son starts messaging me on the computer and his first message is "Dad is stupid" when I ask why he said this he had somehow assumed that they were not coming home because Dan didn't have a lawyer. I assured him it had nothing to do with that. Then he totally blew my mind in his next message. He said, "Melissa says we will be here till we are 18" I replied "She is only joking because of how slow things seem to be moving" His reply was, "No she said that guardian person asked if she could take us till we were 18" I told him I was quite sure that Melissa would have said something to me if this was the case but that she had not so that could not be true. he must have misunderstood her. I am going to take a shower and go to bed so nothing else brings me down today. I am so sad right now.



GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

GOD LED ME TO THIS, HE WILL LEAD ME THROUGH THIS.

AND...

GOD WOULD NOT GIVE ME MORE THAN I COULD HANDLE

would he??

Tags: Family

Just wanted to let all my friends know I am alive and NOT using. I am just going through some very rough times right now. Another Court date on Weds. Be back soon.

Tags: Depressed

This was sent to me by a friend at just the right time because I have not been feeling good about me lately. Wanted to share with all you women out there (and you men too)


ONE FLAW IN WOMEN

By the time the Lord made Woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime..
An angel appeared and said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, and
a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements..
"Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested.
"I am close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel, noticing something, reached out, and
touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops , it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "That's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said,
"The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride"

The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
The y sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer if there's a better solution
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel; cheer when friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies..
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail to show how much they care.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning..
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

THERE IS ONLY ONE FLAW IN WOMEN:
THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF THEIR WORTH.

Being able to be wrong

We had to compete with everyone, sometimes subtly, sometimes less subtly. We always had to be right, to be wrong seemed unbearable. We could never seem to bring ourselves to say simply, "I was wrong." We were afraid of what would happen to us if we did. Our egos were very fragile; we were never as strong as we had led ourselves to believe.

We came to discover, however, that real strength comes from being able to be wrong and from being willing to change our ways of thinking and living.

Can I face being wrong and learn from it?

Higher Power, help me realize each day that it is okay to be wrong, that real communication with other people depends on my being willing to see other points of view, and that being teachable is a divine quality.

Tags: Sad

Sticky First Date
==================

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that
a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no
question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly
had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize
that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle
of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or
it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down
and started.

In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was
the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted
to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she
had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered
her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed,
she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place,
both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter,
she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants
down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment...
"This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out?

He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Tags: Comfortable

What is a friend? The dictionary defines the word friend as "a person who is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."This definition is accurate, as far as it goes, but when we examine the deeper meaning of friendship, so many descriptors come to mind: trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, kindness, encouragement, humor, and cheerfulness, to mention but a few.
Today, asyouconsider the many blessings that God has given you, remember to thank Him for the friends He has chosen to place along your path. May you be a blessing to them, and may they richly bless you today, tomorrow, and everyday that you live.

____________________________

No medicine is more valuable, none more efficacious, none better suited to the cure of all temporal ills than a friend to whom we may turn for consolation in time of trouble.
St. Aelred



You have all helped me in one way or another. I would like to thank you for that.

Sue

Tags: Comfortable

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