Its funny when i come on this website and i read what people write. I read the groups that people start, the blogs, the forums, etc.  I just dont understand sometimes? why dont people comment though?? Why view something and then not make a comment? You had to be curious to view it! right?? well then why dont you just make a comment about it then? I started a group about methadone in here and i just find it funny that there are 45 people  or views and not one comment! No one has not a thing to say>??? I could care less if its a good comment or a bad comment, i am just curious to know other people's opinions on things. I thought recovery is about helping one another? I dont know? that is my opinion. in any case, my week went good. it was a hell of alot better than the past couple weeks. i am glad for that. I just started working on the 4th step. I thought i knew what it was about but i guess i was wrong? or i had the wrong idea about it. My sponser  is having me do something completely different than what i thought it was gonna be. so i am a bit confused on that. But its okay. she has helped me out alot and i am grateful for her. I am glad that i met her. i amhappy that i can relax this weekend and i dont have to worry about my son. so hopefully i can just take it easy and relax!

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Well all i have to say is that this has been a bad week. I have lost a very good friend of mine. Actually, he was a boyfriend of mine that I had dated in high school. I didnt even know that he was on life support for the past week.  Then I get a ride from a woman every other day, over the weekend she had a seizure in her sleep. So now she is in the hospital. She almost died. She isnot doing well at all. And let 's see, oh yeah a friend of mine her daughter over dosed and died over the weekend. This just has been a very sad week. very depressing. I really dont have anyone to talk to about my feelings so its hard for me right now. I used to be able to go to the methadone clinic and talk to my counsleor well she got fired about 2 weeks ago. So i dont even have a counselor!!! SO its just been pretty rough. The only good thing is that I am clean. I guess I just realize how precious each and every day means to me because you never know it may be your last. I want to live each day to the fullest. I have been trying very hard not to argue with my son and just to get along with him all the time and to do things with him all the time. I dont know i just feel like something may happen? you never know?  Its just scary to me. that is how i feel these past days.

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this might be weird but i really have NO friends, actually i have male friends thats about it and i always have had male friends for the past 7 years now??  lets see its kinda weird i have a counselor and she wanted me to go and get some girlfriends so i did. i made friends with 2 particular girls one is my best friend and then i have another female who is i guess my second best friend. But like i said before the 2nd best friend she is the one that is taking these pills! So i really dont want a friend like her. Its sad cause i really do enjoy her company as a friend we have fun when we go out. ya know, but when she is all f**ked up i dont want to be around her. i cant even hold a conversation with her half the time. it will start out okay on the phone but then towards the middle of the conversation she just gets worse and worse, her words slur and then i cant even understand her!!! so i give up and i say oh i have to go and i always make up excuses why i have to hang up! and its hard on me because sometimes when i really need a friend to talk to she isnt their for me! that is what sucks! I will be soo upset and she is sooo out of it its not even worth my time talking to her! so then what i have no one to talk to. So I feel like I was better off in the first place where i started off in the beginning- with NO Girlfriends AT ALL! It seems like all they do is use me! the thing that really upset me is it was my birthday in October and like i said i only have 2 girlfriends- do you think i even got a birthday card or a present?? NOPE! not a thing! now when it was their birthdays i got them stuff cards & presents! so how does that make me feel! i feel used that s how i feel! it just upsets me! I just go out of my way for these girls and they dont do s**t for me! and i dont know what to say when stuff like that happens cause i keep it inside! i would rather not say anything . i dont know why but i dont! and in the long run i am the one that is getting hurt! I dont ask for much from people but when i do ask for something it seems like i dont get it! and i just dont deserve to be treated  this way. it hurts my feelings alot! now i am moving next weekend - do you think either one has asked me if i needed any help? but if it was the other way around i would have been helped them! maybe i care tooo much. and i expect too much . i dont know??? i have made better girlfriends over the computer now a days than in person to be completely honest! and its a shame cause i  probably will never ever meet them either.

Tags: Lonely

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well lets see today i just found this website and i just love it! I am at work and my boss is on vacation so i have not a thing to do! so i have been on here all day long! I am glad i found it! I hope to meet some great new SOBER friends! well i am having some issues here in my life with some of my so called friends. if that is what you callthem . I am just getting tired of doing everything for everyone and no one does not a darn thing for me! I am moving  over Thanksgiving weekend and you owuld think that any one of them would even offer to help me pack of anything??? NOPE! see i am just soo sick of this S**T! i really am! I got pressured into getting girlfriends and i have what 2 of them and out of the 2 lets see the one is my best friend but she really doesnt do much with me at all. she calls me evry day and all but thats about it, We never do anything accept talk on the phone we dont go out or go shopping  like normal friends do and the other one well she is all messed up on Benzos and she is a mess and she drives around in her car with her 3 kids and i am just waiting for her to crash it! I have told her several times that she cant  drive when she is like that ( she is prescribed the meds) but she gets all messed up!!!!! and i refuse to put me or my son in jeapordy anymore. i just cant do it si i dont go out with her anymore. plus all she want is my boyfriend's his prescription and she bothers me about it and it annoys me!!!! then i watch her kids all the time or when ever she asks but do you think she ever takes my son ! NOPE! but then my son is 15 but still she could still pick him up for a couple hours and take him off my shoulders for a while! ya know! give me a break once in a while. im a single mom!  I just do everything for  these ppl and i never get anything in return!!!I am just sooo tired so tired of it! if you only knew what i go through every day with all this bullshit!!!

and ppl say oh id love to have your life well ya know what go ahead you can have my place any day!!!

Tags: Angry

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