1. Your sponsor isn't all that
interested in the "reasons" you
drank.
2. Your therapist thinks your root
problem is your lack of self-esteem
and your negative self-image. Your
sponsor thinks your problem is
yourself.
3. Your therapist wants to pamper
your inner child. Your sponsor
thinks it should be spanked.
4. Your sponsor thinks your inventory
should be about you, not your
parents.
5. Speaking of your parents, your
sponsor tells you not to confront
them, but to make amends to them.
6. The only time your sponsor uses the
word "closure" is before the word
"mouth."
7. Your sponsor thinks "boundaries"
are things you need to take down,
not build up.
8. Your therapist wants you to love
yourself first; your sponsor wants
you to love others first.
9. Your therapist prescribes care-
taking medication. Your sponsor
prescribes prayer making and
meditation.
10. Your sponsor thinks "anger
management skills" are numbered
1 through 12.
11. Now that you haven't had a drink in
6 months, your therapist thinks you
should make a list of all your goals
and objectives for the next
5 years, starting with finishing up
that college degree. Your sponsor
thinks you should start today by
cleaning coffee pots and help to
carry a heavy box of literature to
the jail.
12. Your sponsor will not lose his/her
license if he/she talks about God.
12 Promises for Beginners:
1. You will know your full name and
address.
2. You will be able to shave yourself,
or put on your makeup, whichever
pleases you.
3. You will be able to dress and
undress yourself.
4. You will know the town, the state,
and the country you live in.
5. You will be able to find socks that
match, or nylons without runs.
6. You will be able to smoke without
burning yourself, your clothes or
the furniture.
7. You will lose the fear of food.
8. You will be able to walk a straight
line and pass the drunk driving test.
9. You will spend less time in the
bathroom and be able to brush your
teeth without gagging.
10. You will lose the fear of police
cars.
11. You will be able to answer the door
without having to look through the
peephole.
12. You will realize what a hell? of a
mess you were, and thank God, or
you’re HP for AA.
