I had a secret once; I kept a close eye on it …
Making sure that no one knew it but me…. Holding it close
I felt it taking the breath from me, yet I fell in love with it……
I thought of the time when I could share my secret
But I knew this wasn’t possible…. It was for me only….
I thought no one cared about my secret…. And then I cared for no one
The one thing I thought would never happen to me did….
APATHY…. No longer did I care for myself or anyone around me
I became a person I didn’t know and didn’t like…………..
My secret was all I worried about…. I didn’t care about the pain my secret was
Creating, The chaos and confusion all around….. APATHY took care of that.
My secret grew into my only light, my only way, my destruction….
My secret became my only friend, my sweetest lover, my closest companion, my
deepest love, my biggest fear, my nightmare come alive, my greatest burden, my
haunting dread, my biggest LIE……
Suddenly my secret became my heaviest load, one that dragged me into h*ll?
I carried it onward….. I couldn’t get rid of the secret…. Couldn’t leave it behind…
I convinced myself it was just a little secret and was nothing I couldn’t handle …
Then one day my secret turned to my obsession, every action, every motive
Every waking moment was spent in my obsession, my secret…
Until I was weighted under the heavy strain and I was at the end…
I awoke one evening to a light…..an angelic hand reaching for me bringing me
back to life, back to reality, back among the living…
I no longer felt the need to hide my secret… I am the face of addiction
Every week I sit before many like me and in a voice of declaration…. I let go of
My shame….. My burden… My guilt…. My secret….
And I simply say….. My name is Wendi and I’m an addict…..
*PLEASE DO NOT use without my permission*
Tags: Personal Poetry Addiction
