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IT'S BEEN SO LONG since I've gotten away on a vacation that I almost forget what it's like---not because we're not good at getting away, taking time off, vacationing, etc., but, because of my use, misuse, and abuse, losing my very good job of 25 years, having to start over with entry level positions and pay, now, both my wife and I, intense summer internship, waiting to get enough time in to take off---it was impossible to get away.....But, NOW IT'S TIME.....thank you Lord.
Now it's time to go North and follow Lake Superior to a number of campsites.....DON'T JUST DO SOMETHING, STAND THERE!!! Or, sit there, or walk or whatever. But it was not easy to get this time, guard this time, take this time, and just do it, knowing that we were on the edge, "crispy around the edges." It's so much like recovery, just doing it, guarding those meeting times, sponsor times, fellowship / round up / picnic times--JUST DO IT!!
We HAVE to do it, there's no choice...it's a matter of life and death...or is it life, or prison, institutions and death....really, no matter how we slice the cake, that's it....We know that's it because of the hundreds and hundreds of witnesses and stories and sharing and heart-felt-truths deeply expressed that our program is priority.......One person mentioned in a meeting when another was bold and strong and honest enough to say they "Slipped," that the word S.L.I.P. stands for "Sobriety Losing It's Priority.............
As we get ready to head north along Lake Superior, 10% of the world's fresh water, I can hear Gordon Lightfoot's song in my head and heart about that same lake..........peace, Ken/prodigalreturned:
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy.
With a load of iron ore - 26,000 tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early
The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconson
As the big freighters go it was bigger than most
With a crew and the Captain well seasoned.
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ships bell rang
Could it be the North Wind they'd been feeling.
The wind in the wires made a tattletale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the Captain did, too,
T'was the witch of November come stealing.
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashing
When afternoon came it was freezing rain
In the face of a hurricane West Wind
When supper time came the old cook came on deck
Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya
At 7PM a main hatchway caved in
He said fellas it's been good to know ya.
The Captain wired in he had water coming in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went out of sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the words turn the minutes to hours
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they'd fifteen more miles behind her.
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters.
Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the ruins of her ice water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams,
The islands and bays are for sportsmen.
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered.
In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral
The church bell chimed, 'til it rang 29 times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early.
© 1976 Moose Music, Inc.
Tags: Seize The Day Getting Away Taking Time Off ReflectionContemplation
My rollerblading dog, Nikki (le femme Nikita) knows our rollerblading routine by now, but with her thick fur and the summer sun, she overheats and has to be carried towards the latter part of the run. She knows she's going to be carried, so she runs her heart out right up to the time I pick her up, just at the top of the hill, the most difficult part.
As I picked her up at the top of the hill this morning, I felt like God reaching down to her, almost exhausted, folding her in my arms and carrying her home. Wow....I wanna go like that! In fact, "I AM going like that" on most days in this looooooong, hard, blessed, healing, transformational journey.....I love to "run" on most days. I know what I need to do, and, I also know that because I will be carried, I can run my heart out, being picked up just when I can't go any further, and carried along.....
......I know that's simple, but that may be all I need to know......or like the song, "that may be all there is to know..."
Tags: Grace Inner Healing Empowered
With this morning's crazed but blessed schedule, as I ran around with my head intact, while others about me were losing theirs, I was there to help them find it, wherever it had rolled, hither and yon....we're still looking for a few of them, but that may a lifetime work...I was reminded of an actual job-description quote as I signed up to work at the VA Medical center a year ago:"Worker must be able to function in chaos!" Hmmmm.....whatever that all meant, ministering to "the poor, wretched, and blind," realizing I was in the same boat with them, it made me think of my family of origin, and, my group work in recovery. Since the family I grew up in "put the 'fun' in the word dysfunctional" I knew all about living in chaos, but not about functioning in chaos---that has come from my recovery family, thank God! Thank you! It also reminded me of working with college students for six years; it was like "serving lunch on an escalator, or, in the middle of the freeway!" But, many were fed, and I was fed in the process. So, with my head intact, in the middle of my "1st on call shift" today, waiting for my pager to go off, thanks to the sufficient grace freely given through our Higher Power in the midst of our recovery program, I'm amazed to not only survive in chaos, but fucntionaly thrive in the midst of it. peacethroughrecovery, prodigalreturned.
Tags: Grace For The MomentGrace Is Sufficient
I was blessed this morning with a Max Lucado devotion entitled "Uncommon Commonalities," that tied in well with being in the present, thankful for it.
______________________
You awoke today to a common day. No butler drew your bath. No maid laid out your clothes. Your eggs weren't Benedict, and your orange juice wasn't fresh squeezed. But that's OK; there's nothing special about the day. It's not your birthday or Christmas; it's like every other day. A common day.
So you went to the garage and climbed into your common car. You once read that children of the queen never need to drive. You've been told of executives and sheiks who are helicoptered to their offices. As for you, a stretch limo took you to your wedding reception, but since then it's been sedans and minivans. Common cars.
Common cars that take you to your common job. You take it seriously, but you would never call it extraordinary. You're not clearing your calendar for Jay Leno or making time to appear before Congress. You're just making sure you get your work done before the six o'clock rush turns the Loop into a parking lot.
You lead a common life. Punctuated by occasional weddings, job transfers, bowling trophies, and graduation--a few highlights--but mainly the day-to-day rhythm that you share with the majority of humanity.
Jesus listened to his common life.
Are you listening to yours? Rain pattering against the window. Silent snow in April. The giggle of a baby on a crowded plane. Seeing a sunrise while the world sleeps. Are these not personal epistles? Can't God speak through a Monday commute or a midnight diaper change? Take notes on your life.
Next time your life feels ordinary, take your cue from Christ. Pay attention to your work and your world. Jesus' obedience began in a small town carpentry shop. His uncommon approach to his common life groomed him for his uncommon call.
Tags: Simplicity
I had a bit of a breakthrough last night, learning more deeply to be "in the moment," staying present, without worrying about the two days we never have to worry about, yesterday or tomorrow, or how about what happened a few hours ago or what might happen in the next few hours...
I've been "forced" to grow in this area due to working double shifts most of the summer. If I give into complaining or worrying or feeling sorry for myself I will miss much of what I'm supposed to learn, as well as sharing it with others. The "breakthrough" came waking up too early at 3:30 AM this morning, unable to get back to the sleep I needed to survive and thrive today's double work shift. After an hour of laying there I came to the place of being present, accepting my lack of sleep and convincing myself that even if I don't get any more sleep, I'm OK with that. I enjoyed the darkness, being able to not have to get up, a nice bed, the quietness, thoughts of the day past and some prayers of thanksgiving. That letting go, enjoying the present, "freed me up" to go to sleep.
That reminded me of my recovery life--the letting go of the anxiety of what I can't control, learning to appreciate not what I think should be but what is, not missing the mystery of the simple, daily, "small miracles."
Tags: PresentFocusedCentered
Tonight I'm working "the graveyard shift." As I write I'm asking myself two questions: 1) Why do they call it that? 2) Does that have anything to do with Recovery? I know, everything has to do with recovery, and if it doesn't we'll make it relate, as all of life IS recovery, amen? AMEN! Here's what a few people have written about THAT shift: ___________________________ Why is the phrase "graveyard shift" used for late-night work? Current popular explanations for the origin of the phrase "graveyard shift" reference the 19th century problem of accidentally burying people who were still alive. To prevent this from happening, the story goes, caskets were equipped with a bell-ringing device enabling a waking "corpse" to notify the world that they were no longer dead. The graveyard attendants who remained vigilant throughout the day and night worked the graveyard shift. _________________________________ : : : : : Does anyone know where this phrase came from? I think it means that people who used to work night hours became so sleep deprived that they literally dropped dead from exhaustion. Being that the world operates from 9 to 5 most people have difficulty adjusting to sleeping during the day and usually have business they need to take care of, therefore causing them to develop bad health from the lack of sleep, thus ending up in the graveyard.
: : : : I think you are close - but not quite right. I think that the statistic is that more people die of natural causes at 4 a.m. or thereabouts than at any other time of day. I think the expression came from that - probably either from nursing or the emergency services who would be called out to the recently corpsed. I think it may also have a derivation from "quiet as the grave". I'm sure that it did not refer to people dying because they worked at that time, but I could stand to be corrected.
____________________________________ Interesting...in completing my first of a number of intern units at this hospital, I work the graveyard shift once every 10 days or so and it IS the shift that I have had the most calls where someone has died and I have responded as the chaplain on call. I guess that's where some major "recovery" issues begin to come into play. 1) Every situation is different but all of them touch on grief and loss... 2) Most of them begin to talk and deal with spiritual matters of this life and life after life... 3) There is often a deeeeeep peace, and even amidst the sadness---and often chaos and roller coaster emotions, there are expressions of heartfelt joy and hope... So, grief and loss, spiritual matters, peace amidst the sadness, and even times of joy and hope... The "graveyard shift." Our recovery. A time of death and new life.
addendum....I just have to add that as I finished this blog the chimes in the hospital, playing Brahms' Lullaby went off, signaling the birth of a baby on third floor. It's amazing how often during those calls where someone has died that those chimes begin to play.
Tags: GriefDeathLifeRecovery
I love this picture...It was given to me when I first joined this site last January by "POWERWAVE," a member.......I just found it last night after sharing it with another friend here; it just stuck in my mind and heart ...... Originally it had a sub-title about being in God's presence---like a "theophany/burning bush/overwhelming shekinah glory kind of thing......but I see it in a different way now---A way of "presence" of that POWER all around us, whatever it may be....
I heard a priest/hospital chaplain pray the other day, "Help us in our work not so much to look 'up to God' as to look across to the one we are serving as God"............Just think of that.....really seeing 'the best of our Higher Power' in those we serve and those who serve us---even those who are the 'least."
Sobriety, inner healing, slow transformation for me is seeing that power and presence in everything and everyone around me---not 'pantheism," not 'paganism,' simply that miraculous presence in ongoing orchestrated events on a daily basis all around us, IN SPITE OF OURSELVES.....that's it.....it's not about us, but about that powerful presence flowing in, around, and through us.....
I'm simply sharing, as so many of you do, from what happened to me this morning at work, a "miraculous' ordering of simple events waaaaaay outside my control or actions, in spite of myself........
I also like the phrase that our Higher Power doesn't ask us for our ability or inability, but for our availability.....
Thanks to so many of you being that very presence to so many here, to me, and others around you as you make yourselves available.....
peace and hope,
Ken / prodigalreturned
 In the painting there is a drop of encouragement, of magic in the colors. It has dreams and brightness on each brushstroke. It opens its petals for you as a flower.
Come and see. Come and dream. Come and share because life celebrates in the infinite combination of light, shadow and color, a superior world, that you must decipher and discover.
Tags: Presence
In the midst of all the abusive issues that we all go through from our use, mis-use and abuse, encouragement and counseling from others is part of the healing process. This article was helpful for me in that it came from the perspective of the counselor or therapist....but also offers clues and ways for us to be present to others going through, and needing healing from abuse....(the expanded link is:
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/spousal_domestic_abuse/118004/2)
Peace,
pr
_______________________________
Recovery and Healing from Abuse and Trauma© Sam Vaknin May 1, 2006
 Victims of abuse in all its forms - verbal, emotional, financial, physical, and sexual - are often disorientated. They require not only therapy to heal their emotional wounds, but also practical guidance and topical education. At first, the victim is, naturally, distrustful and even hostile. The therapist or case worker must establish confidence and rapport painstakingly and patiently. The therapeutic alliance requires constant reassurance that the environment and treatment modalities chosen are safe and supportive. This is not easy to do, partly because of objective factors such as the fact that the records and notes of the therapist are not confidential. The offender can force their disclosure in a court of law simply by filing a civil lawsuit against the survivor! The first task is to legitimize and validate the victim's fears. This is done by making clear to her that she is not responsible for her abuse or guilty for what happened. Victimization is the abuser's fault - it is not the victim's choice. Victims do not seek abuse - although, admittedly some of them keep finding abusive partners and forming relationships of codependence. Facing, reconstructing, and reframing the traumatic experiences is a crucial and indispensable first phase. The therapist should present the victim with her own ambivalence and the ambiguity of her messages - but this ought to be done gently, non-judgementally, and without condemnation. The more willing and able the abuse survivor is to confront the reality of her mistreatment (and the offender), the stronger she would feel and the less guilty. Typically, the patient's helplessness decreases together with her self-denial. Her self-esteem as well as her sense of self-worth stabilize. The therapist should emphasize the survivor's strengths and demonstrate how they can save her from a recurrence of the abuse or help her cope with it and with her abuser. Education is an a important tool in this process of recovery. The patient should be made aware of the prevalence and nature of violence against women and stalking, their emotional and physical effects, warning signs and red flags, legal redresses, coping strategies, and safety precautions. The therapist or social worker should provide the victim with lists of contacts - help organizations, law enforcement agencies, other women in her condition, domestic violence shelters, and victims' support groups both online and in her neighbourhood or city. Knowledge empowers and reduces the victim's sense of isolation and worthlessness. Helping the survivor regain control of her life is the over-riding goal of the entire therapeutic process. With this aim in mind, she should be encouraged to re-establish contact with family, friends, colleagues, and the community at large. The importance of a tightly-knit social support network cannot be exaggerated.
Ideally, after a period of combined tutoring, talk therapy, and (anti-anxiety or antidepressant) medications, the survivor will self-mobilize and emerge from the experience more resilient and assertive and less gullible and self-deprecating. But therapy is not always a smooth ride. We tackle this problem in our next article. More about this topic here: Narcissistic Abuse Abuse
Tags: Counseling In Recovery
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