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Viewing 1 - 9 out of 11 Blogs.
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I recieved the following in an email I thought I would pass it on. A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference each of them had made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First, she told each of them how they had made a difference to her, and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon, imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference." Afterwards, the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more blue ribbons, and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom, and report to the class in about a week. One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company, and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon, and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like for you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person, to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened." Later that day, the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down, and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon, and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket, above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you take this extra ribbon, and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school, and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people." That night, the boss came home to his 14-year-old son, and sat him down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office, and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me, and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine! He thinks I am a creative genius! Then he put a blue ribbon that says, "Who I Am Makes a Difference," on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon, and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are hectic and when I come home, I do not pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school, and for your bedroom being a mess. Somehow, tonight, I just want..... The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he could not stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom , explaining why I had taken my own life, and I asked you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just did not think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all." His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain. The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch, but made sure to let all of his employees know that they made a difference. The junior executive helped other young people with career planning, and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life...one being the boss' son. In addition, the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson, "Who you are DOES make a difference." You are under no obligation to pass this on to anyone.... not to two people, or to two hundred. As far as I am concerned, you can forget it and move on. On the other hand, if you want, you could send it to all of the people who mean something to you, or send it to the one, two, or three people who mean the most. On the other hand, just smile and know that I think that you are important, or you would not have received this in the first place. Who you are does make a difference, and I wanted you to know that. Isn't this a wonderful story? I'm passing the blue ribbon to you, for who YOU are does make a difference, too. MAY YOUR GOD BLESS YOU. Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today! Thank You All for making a difference in my life Gary(manicmage29)   
Tags: Happy
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Update
Posted On 04/17/2007 21:15:37
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Just a quick line for everyone to catch them up with what has been happening. The end of march I had to move into a sober supportive living community because one of my room mates was active. I have been here a month and I am going to be moving again to another building. Thursday I will be turning in my resignation for work(reasons to complicated to get into just ask me and I will tell you) Wed I am seeing a school adviser to return to college in the fall. I have been going to meetings speaking and talking to my sponsor as often as possible. Anything else just ask lol! Gary (manicmage29)
Tags: Reflective
I got a new sponsor recently one who is very active in the steps. We decided it would be a good idea for me to start over with sept one. Well two weeks ago I was sitting at a discussion meeting when a man started talking about being upset and agitated and wanting to drink because of the way he was feeling. An old timer mentioned that it wasn't feelings that got us drunk it was alcohol. At this point there was a huge light bulb that popped on over my head. "It isn't my bi-polar or the broken shoe lace or the person that upset me or any of that that is the reason I drank or drugged. I drank and drugged because I am an alcoholic and an addict. I am different then non addicts whether I am active or sober. My make up is different my perception my attitudes everything is different, and today I am really okay with this fact. Today I see my addiction as "THE BEAST". This beast is smarter then me more cunning and so much more powerful then I could ever hope to be. There is two and only two things more powerful then this BEAST they are 1. GOD and 2. A.A. Bill Wilson PROMISED me/us a daily reprieve from the disease of addiction by doing a few certain things like the twelve steps.For me I MUST remember the H.O.W. of the program. Honesty Open mindedness and Willingness. Gary J. Lacy (manicmage29) 
Tags: Reflective
They say a grateful heart never drinks(uses) so with that in mind I decided to write a gratitude list 1. God is in my life today 2. I am living under a roof and not under a bridge 3. Fellowship of A.A. 4. I have use of all 4 of my limbs 5. I have my brain (although there are people that disagree. 6. I am alive!!!!!! 7. I have been given another chance and another etc 8. I have food to eat 9. I have a great job 10. This Incredible site 11. Emotions and feelings 12. Every drink and drug I put into my body 13. My adopted parents 14. My biological mom 15. My biological brother (even if we can't talk right now!) 16. Living where I am living (river on one side ocean on the other) 17. The newcomer (without you the program would not evolve and we would have no one to pass this on too!) 18. My computer Thank You Gary(manicmage29)
Tags: Happy
I have been hearing alot about the fellowship and people's families. For all the years I have been in and around the program I have always had a problem with the "fellowship" I hear people talking about all the great things they have done on the weekends and how they have 20 messages on their answering machines etc and I think to myself "what is wrong with me" I have some numbers actually use them too one or two call me most don't. I would love to spend time with people in the program but the only steady thing I do is go to my a.m. meeting. I must begin with the fact I absolutely hate the fact I "need" people. I have always come from a place of need being taken from my biological mother,living on the street, needing detox or a hospital always need need need and I still need and I just don't like it. The difference this time is I know I have to deal with it. Not by getting myself a little room and locking myself in but by asking people for help and support. (that prospect is so frightening and yes disgusting) See I have abandonment issues (couldn't guess that one huh?lol) In my world you get close to people they leave or they hurt you and I can't seem to get over that.Both my biological family and my adopted family have passed away except for my bio father who is in a nursing home with a "wet brain" and my biological brother whom I have such a volitile relation right now we can't talk to each. My adopted brother and sister I havent seen in over 12 years (and have no wish to either). I know how to stay away from a drink and a drug for one day (at one time I did it for 9 years) what I don't know is recovery and a huge part of that is "the fellowship". So if you all don't mind I am going to be talking quite a bit about it on this site. If at anytime you get sick of it just tell me. All the advice I get I will try in face to face situations Thank you Gary(manicmage29).  (center text) Well, hello there
Good old friend of mine
You've been reaching for yourself
For such a long time
There's so much to say
No need to explain
Just an open door for you
To come in from the rain
It's a long road
When you're all alone
And someone like you
Will always through a long way home
There's no right or wrong
I'm not here to blame
I just want to be the one
Who keep you from the rain
From the rain
And it looks like some disguise
Now that I know you're alright
Time has left us older
Wiser, I know I am
'Cause I think of us
Like an old cliche
But it doesn't matter
'Cause I love you anyway
Coming from the rain
And it looks like some disguise
Now that I know you're alright
Time has left us older
But Wiser, I know I am
And it's good to know
My best friend has come home again
'Cause I think of us
Like an old cliche
But it doesn't matter
'Cause I love you anyway
Coming from the rain
Come in from the rain
Come in from the rain
Tags: Reflective
The past few days have been kind of tough for me. I am suffering from SLOM Serious Lack Of Motivation(much more so then usual. I am able to get to work and some meetings but that is it. Some apathy has set in disinterest,tiredness,boredom etc. I know this sounds like my depression is rearing its ugly head once again and I have asked myself about this. I don't know may be it is and may be I am denial about it. I have been taking my meds(for the most part at least I tend to miss the night meds). All I really know is I really don't like feeling this way. My therapist has been tough to get a hold of and get something scheduled my dr I keep forgetting to call the good news is I have been getting on my knees am and pm and I try to stay off the couch not always successfully. I just have to keep it in the day and learn to reach out a bit more. Gary(manicmage29)
Tags: Tired
I have been talking quite a bit lately about surrender. For the past few weeks I have been hitting my head against the proverbial WALL.I was stuck, I knew that without God I was going to go nowhere and I had spent way to long in THAT place.But I had issues with God trust most definitely fear you bet ya and of course good old EGO I could do it all by myself didn't need God and didn't need people. Well this a.m. I got a real eye opener. I found a paper on the symptoms of relapse and of the 12 11 applied to me! I thought for a moment realized I was in a lot of trouble and walked up to my room and fell to my knees. I have learned that some times it just takes action and that is what I did. I managed to talk to a future friend in the program and just told him I was in trouble he said we will get you to meetings and introduce you to some old timers. He is also starting a step meeting. So the question is "Have I surrendered?" Well I think I made a very good start today I plan on going home after work and before I go to bed get back on my knees and thank Him for a good day of sobriety. Thank You Gary
Tags: Tired
I spent the day today with my room mate who had started drinking a few days ago(he only fessed up this a.m. all though we had an idea) My room mate is one of those "special" people always there for others hardly thinking of him self. At one time he had 9 years of abstinence from alcohol and drugs and some very good recovery. Some months ago he was put on constant oxygen for severe emphysema. He had a very hard time adjusting to this. To be with him today brought up a lot of things for me. I could feel and relate to the hurt,desperation,humiliation,terror and paranoia. I could especially relate to and feel the helplessness because I knew there was nothing I could do for this man except get him to a detox ( which we did). But another thought was trying to creep in. How easy it would be to give in and join him despite everything I know he was feeling and everything I knew would happen to me. That to me is the very definition of addiction. The disease that tells us we don't have a disease. I don't do very well with active addicts but I especially don't do well with actives that are close to me. I have lost many many people to this disease and I really don't want to loss any one else. Thank You Gary manicmage29
Tags: Disappointed
Most days I feel like my "manual of life" has half the pages missing and the other half are written in Chinese. What is it with earth people? It seems to me that their priorities are just completely out of whack. I have a hard time on figuring out how to function in this place called "real life". I am learning something very valuable though how to laugh! I find myself asking this question: "how important will this be in the next Ice Age? Usually the answer is not very. I don't know if anyone can identify with this but I would really like to wake up tomorrow and be 100% more healthy then I am today my sponsor keeps telling me it will never happen. oh well I can always dream though. Anyway this is what happens when you have someone who is totally bored at work! So far I just love this site it is exactly what I needed (Thank You God once again) My only wish is that we use the live chat more often it would be nice to talk to my new made friends in real time. I hope to hear from everyone often! manicmage29 Gary
Tags: Serene
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