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We all have personality traits that irritate or offend other people. When you surrender to God, he files down your rough spots. He carves away any pettiness or smallness in your life, and ironically, your personality is not diminished, but is softened and beautified.
Jesus knew when he surrendered to his Father's will, God's limitless love would flow through him and into others. When you empty yourself enough to be a conduit for God's love, God will reward you not only with his love, but with the love of other people as well.
There's nothing wrong with wanting others to love you. Loving others always takes a risk that you won't be loved in return, but when you know that God loves you no matter what, you can love like Jesus: "A new command I give you: Love one another," (Jesus said). "As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35 NIV) If you take a genuine interest in people, if you consistently look for the good in them and love them as Jesus would, you truly will stand out from the crowd. They'll see something in you they've never seen before.
Your life will become fuller and richer, and you will become more lovable... THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE, WORDS, HUGS AND PRAYERS! I AM A LOVED AND BLESSED WOMAN...
The heartfelt pain is piercing,the embarrassment is devastating, the tears I cry are real, they burn my flesh as they roll down my face; the stages of my losing ....
The stupidity in me, how gullible I am, how I love a man that clearly I am not good enough for, how I sit here night after night looking out the window hoping the next car or phone call will be God bringing my husband back home, how blind I am, or was it the encredible weak emotional mess I am?????? I keep hanging on this crumb of hope that my husband will wake up and come home.... I am pathetic... I was awake until 4:30 crying uncontrollably, asking God "why not me?", feeling sorry for myself I guess you would call this. I left him a v/m on Thursday telling him to get his item out of the house, that I can not deal with having to look at his stuff every day while he is with someone else. He called Friday says " I am not with ANYONE ELSE, I did not appriciate that v/m last night." We were interupted he said he'd call me back, that he loved me. Have not heard a word since and it's Monday..... I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THIS ................
just as a bit of security begins to bloom inside me it schrivels up again.... i thought for a bit that there was some light shinning on my marriage. communication was becoming rather nice, we actually were laughing... i was starting to feel myself smile again, look at me in the mirror and tell myself it is really worth being.............. well last night an acquaintance asked me how i was holding up(this person only knew my husband & i were going through something) "i said so-so, some days are better than others, but things seem to be looking up! "by the look on her face i knew i was wrong... this person said "i asked you because your husband is living with his girlfriend, when he is out with her in public he is not acting like a married man. i actually thought from his behavior you did get divorced." i wanted to die right there on the spot. i came home and cried, screamed, looked at me in the mirror and asked myself is it really worth being at all.......
I am thankful for all of you giving me support, I took a week and did a lot of thinking. I need to work me, I can not work someone else. I am working on being more positive about everything. I found out some interesting things about myself and my husband. The house he has been staying at I ASSUMED he was the with the chick from the affair. Well to my surprise she is with another man and they bought a place together. My husband has been working on buying this place for a year now, all the while I did not know this, so I ASSUMED he was still cheating. I accussed, yelled, believed others, never went with my own gut until it was too late.... I found comfort in being the victim. I begged God for a sign that I was wrong in this part of marriage termoil. Out of the blue a friend called me at work just to say "hello" I have not spoken to this person in almost a year. As we talked about this and that she says "hey remember that chick - you know who I mean," I said "but of course," she says " she's with some guy now, I heard they are engaged, they just bought this huge home together, she moved out of that other house and is selling it."....... After we hung up I sat for hours by myself, talking to God. I called my husband and told him it was going to be okay, I loved him and I forgave myself and him, and I don't want to know anything from yesterday and beyond, I want to only know about today. Can I tell you I had the most relaxed, beautiful conversation with my husband that I have had in a very longg time........... Thank you all for sending me your words of inspiiration, it helps so very much and it so appriciated!!!!
I thought I cried all the tears out last night.... My husband is at her house again as of 7 this morning.... Why won't he cut the bonds with me so he can be free of me to continue his obvious love for her?????
I think I am losing control here. I was working on a paper, not thinking about my husband at all. I took a break to change the laundry around, I took about 5 steps and collapsed to the floor, curled up like a baby, sobed uncontrollably and screamed at the top of my lungs for a good 20 minutes. I cried so hard the tiny blood vessels around my eyes burst. WHY WHY WHY CAN'T I BE AS STRONG AS MY HUSBAND IS THROUGH THIS s**t. SHOULD HE BE THE ONE FEELING LIKE THIS, SINCE HE HAD THE darn AFFAIR.
My friend is at a men's retreat and sent this to me this morning: 
No matter what is going on in your life @ any given time, there is always one thing you can do. No matter how you feel in response to a specific experience, circumstance, memory, there is always one thing you can do. In every situation, regardless of the migrating factors, you can always "change your mind!" If what you are thinking, saying or doing in response to any person or experience is not bringing you peace, "change your mind!" If your mind is flooded with memories and thoughts of pain-filled past or a not-so-promissing future, "change yor mind!" You can do it, just like that! When you change your mind, the things you've been thinking about, your changed mind will alter the way you see it. Worrying about, crying over running from will look completely different. It may not be that anything in the actual picture changes: however, if you are serious about creating a change in your mind, here are a few tips: Do not insist that people be who you want them to be. Do not insist that you are someone you are not. Do not insist that you can do things you cannot do. Do not insist that you know things that you don't. Do not insist you will do things that you won't do. Do not insist that everyone is wrong about you. Do not insist that you are right. Whenever you are insistent about something, you create an attachment. Breaking that attachment creates disruption in the mind. Until today, you may not have realized that you can always change your mind. Just for today, be devoted to changing how you think about things, how you see things and what you tell yourself about everything. Changing your mind about anything or anyone transforms how those things or persons impact your life... Today I am devoted to changing my mind about things about myself!
 Wy does this have to hurt so badly? When my husband confessed he cheated, had an affair, he asked me not to leave him, to stay, work on the marriage. I struggled with trusting him, i accussed him all of the time of being with "her", until i pushed him right out the door into - what he said living in a hotel. That was 103 days ago. The first month was horrible, no sleep, not much contact with him at all. No Christmas together, nothing. First week on January things seemed to start smoothing out between us. We talked more on the phone and in person. Still not coming home for him.
I asked him to come home off and on and he always said "no, not gonna happen,I broke your trust in me, I broke our marriage, now it is over." The things that keep me hoping, and hanging on: he tells me he loves me every time we talk, says he misses me/us, wishes he would have never had the affair. About 4 weeks ago I asked him why he has not come home yet, he said he is just not ready to yet....He confided in a friend of his(a much older man) that he was so wrong to have the affair, he wants to repair his marriage, he is afraid of losing his best friend, his wife, he wants to come home, he misses and loves his wife, he wanted to date me again. His friend came to me with this and asked me to give my husband the time he needed to sort this all out in his head. How much time do I give, I've invited him over for dinner, movies, games, coffee and evrytime he says he is busy.... Then the only time he said yes for dinner he never showed or called. The day he left he left with nothing but the clothing he had on, all of his belongings still here, mail still delivered here.... I am confused, lost, blind, or just palin stupid??????????????????????? AND IF WHAT HE TOLD HIS FRIEND IS TRUE, WHY THE h*ll? HAS HIS VEHICLE BEEN SEEN AT "HER" HOUSE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND LAST THING AT NIGHT FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS/MONTHS WHO KNOWS HOW LONG? Is this a man that wants to fix his marriage or a man who wants his cake and eat it too, or a man afraid to get divorced due to the $ he would lose, or just a friggen liar that can't face his wife and tell her the TRUTH about what is really going on?..... Why so much pain, why does he continue to hurt the one he says he loves?
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