Hi everyone. I first joined this site on march 17. I posted one blog, and then I had the relapse from hell. I definitely hit rock bottom. I went back to treatment and was released on May 21. It has taken a while to get back to this website, but I am happy to say that today I have 74 days clean. I just don't know how to change my clean date on my profile.
This time around I finally decided to get honest about all the things I have done in the name of crack. Was it hard? Hell yes!!! But I finally realized and accepted that my secrets were a huge part of my problem. And the truth is that my loved ones already knew a lot of the things I thought I was hiding from them. They just wanted me to admit it.
By the grace of god I still have my husband and kids, although the cops were called to remove me from the house in April. It was truly horrible. But through my honesty I now truly love myself again and my relationships with my family are stronger than ever.
Thanks for listening, and I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend, clean and sober.
This is my first blog on this website. I currently have major issues going on with family and friends due to crack. I ponder why I keep going back to the very thing that I know will destroy me. Actually, it already is. I'm not even sure if my husband is gonna stick around to give me ANOTHER chance. And if he goes he will take my kids and I don't know what the hell I will do. I hate this addiction and all the pain and heartache that comes with it. I know I am powerless, so why do I keep trying to prove otherwise to myself? It is total and complete insanity. That stuff makes me a person I would never want to be around. I just hope and pray it's not too late for me to get it right. Thanks for listening.
