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Yay no hangover so my high continues. My Son Jay is off to see his Dad in London for a couple of days & I am fit to drive him to the coach station, might even window shop around the sales. Wow, I am really enjoying this sober business. Peace :)
Tags: Happy
It's been a while since I've written a blog as too much going on at the same time & unable to sort into any kind of order. Today is my first Christmas Day that I can actually remember everything, I know it's only 6.30 pm but I would have normally crashed by now, don't get me wrong, I'm tired but a happy worn out tired not alcohol induced . It's been hard as have been surrounded by alcohol but honestly quite happy with Pepsi Max, although think I may be a little tipsy from the Christmas pudding!! I can have Christmas pudding can't I? I didn't even think until after I'd eaten it, does this mean I have to start counting the days again?? It's days like today that make it all worthwhile, when I know I can have a special day which isn't centered around alcohol, still have a laugh, & remember all the lovely details. Today I'm Thankful for life & all the special people I'm lucky to have the pleasure in knowing. My thoughts go out to those who are not as blessed as me, I wish I could share my happiness with you all. Happy Holidays :) 
Tags: Happy
Well my Son has now been deposited back to University again only this time I don't have my best friend at the bottom of a bottle to help me through. Trying to keep as busy as I can & I do have loads to do this week. The trouble is I can't sleep at nights, my mind is running riot this week with trying to make sure everything is sorted for when I go into to hospital on Monday. Trying to make sure bills are paid in advance & my animals will be cared for whilst away. Never had to worry about my bills before when I was working as they just came out of my salary & what ever was left over, which was a lot, I spent on my home, son & myself. Now I find myself being careful how often I use my dishwasher, when I can use lights & if I afford to turn on my central heating when it starts to get cold & will I even have a house to heat in the immediate future. One thing I have learned is that these are only things, at least I have my life, my Son (even if he's not around at the moment) my friends, family & my animals & I'M SOBER. Why can't I sleep? Everything is so much better after a good night's rest. Oh well, at least I'll be in the right place on Monday if I'm exhausted!! I feel as though I'm just going through the motions & I wonder if I will survive. I don't believe that I've actually started crying, very unusual for me. Ah, my dog Busta has just licked away some tears which has made me chuckle. Life is sweet. :)
Tags: Tired
Since yesterday I have had a house full of 19 year old lads who are American Football mad. Has the season just started? My Son keeps on about a game between NE Patriots & The Jets? Although I don't understand the first thing about football or soccer it's a really great feeling to know that Jay's friends feel comfortable & always pile around here for their game watching & get togethers. They must be the only lads I know at that age who are happy to drink Dr Pepper instead of Beer. I am sure this will change given time!! When I look at the news I am so thankful that I am lucky to have a really nice boy with polite & respectful friends.
Like all parents, when my Son is happy I'm happy. As long as they clean up after themselves!! Hope you all have a great weekend. Enjoy. :)
Tags: Happy
Just back from a unexpected short trip compliments of our national health service!! Thank you for all your comments & sorry I have been in contact but I was quite ill Sunday night & have been in hospital since. I'm ok for now so was discharged this morning which is great for the weekend but a little disappointed that I'm missing lunch as it is fish,chips & mushy peas today & I had been looking forward to it!! Got home about an hour ago & have received lots of doggy love so I am feeling good. Believe it or not I had lots of fun in hospital, so much so they want me back in 2nd October for a little op. I just think they want me to cheer up the little old ladies & get their water for them & tune in their television sets!! Anyway, I hope you are all well & thanks again. Deb xx
Tags: Happy
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Thanks
Posted On 08/26/2007 04:50:52
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Many thanks for those of you who sent me comments & advice. I'ts so good to know that I'm not the only one who has these moments. I think all the travelling on my trip got the better of me & made me so tired that I reacted in a way which is not usual for me, especially to my son. We talked & he is ok & sorry. He buries his head in the sand since my illness so I think I just wanted to shock him into a reaction. He doesn't want to admit he nearly lost me, sometimes I think he's too deep for his own good. Anyway, on a lighter note, for once the weather is great in UK this weekend so will spend some time in the garden & escape inside a book. Things quiet around here as Jay went on the train to London to see his Dad yesterday & comes back today. Thank you again. I hope you all have a great weekend. :)
Tags: Tired
I’m sick to death of people thinking that because I don’t moan all the time if I don’t feel very well, that I’m back to normal. If I have to deal with the fact that my voice is still weird, my stomach is still swollen & I’m sometimes in pain & that I quite visibly can’t walk very well, then I’m bloody sure others could show some consideration & not expect me to be my usual to be healthy self. Perhaps I should moan more often, I don’t want sympathy, but should I yelp in pain when I have a little dog dropped on my tummy & it hurts, then I don’t expect to be told by my 19 year old son that my loud yelp was over the top! It’s bad enough that I have to deal with my incapacities & not drinking, which I could quite happily have right now. I feel bad as I just told my son that I would have been better off if I had stayed & died in hospital. I shouldn’t have said it & I have since apologised but I was so angry. Still, it’s no excuse. It’s my first outburst of real anger since December & unfortunately it all came spewing out. I feel really ugly right now, just like I used to feel after I’d been drinking & had to face the music with what I’d said & done to hurt the closest to me. I’m sorry for including you in my outburst but I feel a lot calmer now. Defo won’t be reaching for the bottle. The glass is always half full eh!! Peace :)
Tags: Angry
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Merhaba
Posted On 08/22/2007 15:12:37
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Merhaba, ("hello" in Turkish). Well I'm back & still sober. My first holiday without alcohol so I am relieved & happy as had many opportunities thrust upon me (bit unfair really) which makes it a sweet victory for me yippee! Loads to do since back in UK, all the usual return from holiday stuff & then some so will be back on line soon but for now....... İyi geceler (Good Night) 
Tags: Happy
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TURKEY
Posted On 08/13/2007 03:56:54
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Of to Turkey now for a week & am finally getting excited. Bit nervous about the not drinking as it's always been a big thing on holiday, just have to tuck into a LARGE bowl of ice cream instead! Still haven't managed to get health insurance so finge3rs crossed I will have to wing it & hope for the best. I's a good week to get away to the sun s I understand the UK is in for some pretty horrendous storms over the next few days ha ha!! Anyway, off on a jet plane!! Hope everyone has a great week. Bye for now. xx 
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Tags: Happy
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