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Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Blogs.
Been a ruff couple days. No real reason. Just have the desire to drink. Bad desire..Im home..safe..talked to my support system and am ok. Set back... perhaps...reality--- yes. I don't do losing well...nor being in this much pain..damn im angry! ...on some hidden level I have felt that I'm really not that bad, the steps trully are for others albiet I am engaged... and there are other addicts much worse than me...so much for being humble! man what a load of rubbish(insert PC word here)...another perverted way of my addiction/demon to break me .... this to shall pass...hopefully thanks for the ear.... Dusty
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Sober
Posted On 03/29/2009 01:42:59
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Im sober 60 days..Im so grateful..I find it hard to contain myself. Thanks to my higher power, family, my group and you. I know I will not go back but do remain / contain in my position of one day at a time... I ask myself do I feel better? the expected answer is h*ll? yah! and well the answer is h*ll? yah! notwitstanding there are issues that I am left with which has underpined my drinking...in my minds eye / heart...I now know I have to deal with these things. For today...tomorrow....I will take my win, live to fight another day and be the man that I have faked to society for so long whilst I hid in my addictions shadow.... Sobering... Dusty
I don't seem to understand why my pals have a preoccupation with me not drinking. Odd, if I was huffing gas, playing with needles or a host of other harmful non social engagments--- I'd be an outcast...whereas in this situation there is a social pressure to drink...I find this odd...I struggle in my new sobriety of how to deal with social fuctions....mostly work engagements..ie dinners with wine, speeches, mixers, galas etc.etc. I feel this is such a small item in lieu of the real damage that comes with booze , but it is with me now and i would like to have some thoughts on this...this is my first blog and I must admit one of the first times in my life I have asked for help.(which in and of itself explains a few things I'm learning to understand...I'll take that as a win for now and deal with acceptance later) So thank you for allowing me this opportunity two fold. Dusty
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