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Step Four

Posted On: 08/16/2008 11:46:48

I am about to embark today on Step 4. This is something I have been seriously putting off.

This is due to fear.

I have been trying to work the 12 step programme on a serious level for almost 6 months now, in that time I have had a few minor relapses but learned from them and moved on, tomorrow marks 14 days sober and something inside me has definately changed, I know I can do this now, and I will not relapse again, I have found God (finally!) and I feel that he is the strength I need now to be sure I will not drink again. For the first time in my life this feels like a certain, and for the first time in my life I am not afraid about it.

So, back to step 4. Its been the biggest stumbling block in the whole thing for me, I just could not and would not face doing it. But now I feel urged to do it, I have a few days at home alone so I can really focus on it and I now want to do it, not to get it out of the way but to cleanse my soul and lay to rest some prominent demons in my mind.

I am going to spend a few days on it, I have downloaded some great worksheets from 12step.org to help me work through it.

I have been literally dreading doing this step, I have put it off and put it off for way too long now. Today is the day I take the bull by the horns and confront myself, my past and my demons.

If anyone has any words of wisdom on step 4, all help and advice is greatly received!

Thank you to all my wonderful friends here for keeping me strong and being a significant part of my recovery.

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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: crow73

08/17/2008 17:44:22

It tok me some time on my fourth step, but I triggered some things that went on in my past. I have PTSD, and I had to break a couple of times. Although I would suggest to keep going til it's done. I got relief once it was done, and it was a growing experience for me. The past stuff my spnsor couldn't help with, but my therapist did. So I had to resort to outside help because my sponsor isn't certified in therapy. I worked with both until my fourth step was done! It was the first time for me, and I got through it without picking up. My sponsor says this step will either make you or break you! My sponsor has known me for 10 years now, and she has been clean for 23 years! I learn and grow through her, and I am grateful to have her in my life today! Good luck, and just remember DON'T PICK UP NO MATTER WHAT!!! You can do this! I believe in YOU! Take care
--Angie Fallowfield

From: DennisS

08/16/2008 22:28:57

     I finally treated step four as a history lesson - it just happened to be my history. These are facts you will write down, nothing less. Who, what, when and why. They cannot harm you except by omission.
     It is a personal inventory. Both bad and good. It is designed to show what you need to work to on for the purpose of improving your life. How can that be bad?
     You hear horror stories about the 4th and 5th steps. I often now think they are used like campfire stories to scare children. The release from the bondage of the IBSC is worth the pain of the writing and retelling. But please, no fear is really necessary. You're doing this for the most important person in your life - the one you get to spend the rest of yours with. You

YFIR,
Dennis

From: Isiah491421

08/16/2008 16:58:49 I second what Tina says! I had a lot of fear about step 4 too... God will be with you Love and Peace Angela

From: godluvsall

08/16/2008 12:46:01

Do it afraid. Fear is a feeling, and there is nothing wrong with having it. Just do it. Then Faith will open up to you and you won't be afraid anymore. Give it to God.

We must trust and rely on God. We must have Faith which means having courage. Ask God to remove your fear- and direct your attention to what He would have you to be.

Taking inventory aids to clear thinking and honest appraisal. It's the first and TANGIBLE evidence of our complete willingness to move forward.

Do it afraid and WIN!

Hugs, Tina

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