melloncollie027’s Blogs » I’ve made some mistakes

Welcome Guest Login or Signup

melloncollie027

PROFILE

GALLERY

BLOGS

GUESTBOOK

FRIENDS

FAVORITES

VIDEOS

I've made some mistakes.

Posted On: 12/09/2007 12:51:36

I really need to figure out a way to change things in my life.

I really thought this time I had it all together.

But I don't

I don't know where to start. I have so many things that I have to do right now to make me a better me. But it's just so hard to know if I can actually do them

1.get my GED

2. get my license finally- i.e. take drivers ed and the in cars and the test

3. go to college next fall

4. move out/ be more independent

5. deal with everything else going on.

It's a lot. In ways it sounds simple. Just go ahead and get my GED

but i'm so scared.

I'm so scared of failing or not doing my best.

I can't fail in front of others- which is why taking the drivers test is going to be so hard. Plus I am such a perfectionist I can't cope when I don't get things right the first time.

I'm terrified of going to college by myself. I haven't been to school in two years.

I'm terrified of moving out- even though I know that is what's best for me right now.

I want all of these things but when I actually try to approach them, I freeze. and i push them in the back of my head until I can't deal with them anymore.

I really want to be a better person

I broke my "sobriety" from being codependent and of course got my heart broken again

It's a lot right now. I don't want to complain

I just want to be a better me

But I have no idea how to start,

especially when I have to start all oveer dealing with my broken heart

I've made a lot of mistakes and now I'm really paying for them.

I am in total control of my life, which makes me feel out of control.

Tags: Disappointed

Bookmark:

Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Comments

From: DisgruntledGurl

12/10/2007 04:46:09

You seem to be in the same boat I'm in. I haven't been in school in over 20 years and I've been procrastinating (for literally decades) for roughly the same reasons...although I've recently started studying for it when I have time. I have never learned to drive either. Actually I don't mind as I am a bit of a 'green' freak, plus it gives me a few less bills to concern myself with. But you know what? These are things you can control, and I believe you can do it! You just have to want it more than fear it.

Hang in there!

From: jd

12/09/2007 21:04:34 you are not in total control. that's why you feel out of control... glad to hear from you! :) one thing at a time and God is in control. talk to Him. He's your friend.

From: Godluvsall

12/09/2007 13:38:19

We have all been there and we have all made mistakes. We learn from them, then press forward. Getting your GED is the first thing to work on. Don't work on everything at once. Take things one at a time then other things will fall into place.

Broken hearts stink, but you will survive that as well. All easier said than done, but I've been through it all and I'm still here by the Grace of God...

YOU ARE SPECIAL and you have a special place on this Earth. Go for it!

*** myRECOVERYspace ***