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kem2006
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life
Posted On: 09/15/2007 17:06:00

ive been thinking alot about my life and why i am the way i am. it was easy for me to accept the fact of my abuse as a child and the effects it has had on me growing up. but what was hard for me to swallow is the fact that i come from a very dysfunctional family. i never realized that what went on in my home as a child and what happened to me on a daily basis wasnt "normal". i didnt know that these things didnt normally go on in other ppls lives. still, today, its hard for me to grasp. i dont even like voicing "dysfunctional family". it seems sick and twisted, yet everything i experienced as a child was sick and twisted. ive read many articles and such on things such as this and it doesnt seem too promising. i wonder if ill ever learn to live like others, and not result to my childhood as a cause for all my problems. am i forever doomed to live a dysfunctional life due to the way my mother treated me? am i always gonna scarred from the childhood abuse?

any feedback would be great... thanks family!!! *you guys are my family* be blessed!



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Viewing 1 - 5 out of 5 Comments

From: Cara
09/17/2007 05:23:04

You said it yourself, you are learning to replace your dysfunctional family with a new healthy one.  You don't have to carry that old family with you, you can leave them in the past where they belong and as your new family teaches you new healthy ways to relate to others you can forget the wrong ways your old family taught you.

Forgiveness means accepting that your old family were not bad, just sick, just controlled by powers they could not defend themselves from.  You have a higher power for good controlling your life, you are different from them, you are recovering.  So forgive and let go, the scars will fade in time.

Cara.

From: Passitongreeting
09/16/2007 10:02:06

Your worth should never depend on another persons opinion. 

The cool thing about recovery is today we can make changes. When we allow ourselves to love ourselves and forgive ourselves then it is easier to forgive those that have hurt us.

The first step is always the hardest!! It only gets better from there!

From: Godluvsall
09/16/2007 08:06:34

You have some wonderful comments here. I just want to add that you can be a great adult regardless of your childhood.  God can take the pain and feelings away. You can start over. I've know women in my AA group that have had some really bad issues in their childhood and they have overcome them. They were willing to let Go and let God. Surrender and take each day as a new chance to start over. You can live a great life!

From: jd
09/16/2007 07:36:09
being aware is the beginning.  now it's action.  you can break the cycle.  believe you can do it.  but never alone.  keep your God close.


From: DisgruntledGurl
09/16/2007 02:48:38

Realizing the environment I was growing up in was not at all "normal" was a shock to me too, so I can relate. It's one thing to break the cycle of abuse, but it is a different thing altogether breaking the cycle of dysfunction. Except neither can be truly broken until we change that learned conditioning within ourselves.

Sadly, that dysfunction has passed onto my daughter and onto her children. I can only pray that some healing can be had to them as I continue the journey of my own recovery.

Let go and let God take care of it when you're having a bad day, and like Mel said - don't lose hope. You can make it, and we'll be there taking the same journey with you!




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