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My First Blog

Posted On: 01/04/2007 10:24:24

Hi Guys.

I'm sitting here on an Oil and Gas production facility for a major oil company, listening to all the guys talk about drinking when they are home. The first thought that came to mind was, "i'm glad I've been freed of that bondage." They talk about all the stupid things they've done while drunk. I thought about the things i've done too, but instead of them being funny, I'm embarrased about them. Maybe all their times were fun. But I can still remember urinating on myself. I still remember waking up, going to the bathroom and that bathroom end up being the hall way closet. I can still remember, not wanting to take that drink, but drinking anyway. I still remember vomiting and seeing blood in it, and still drinking after I finish throwing up. I remember telling myself I'm never going to be like my father", and take anther pull off the bottle.

Maybe I need these drinkers to remind me where my disease took me.

So, today, I thank my Higher Power for the constant reminders of the chains he released me from.

Tags: Reflective

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Viewing 1 - 7 out of 7 Comments

From: reocery4les

04/07/2007 22:53:34 Thank you for the reminder! Some people are in our lives for a season and some people are in our lies for a reason. You sound full of grattitude for the light your HP has shone in your life. I am grateful for the blog you wrote. I sometimes forget the horrific tragedy of my addiction. Blessings- Les

From: alimbagirl

01/07/2007 19:34:44

I understand where you are coming from. I just bought the book, It Will Never Happen to Me by Claudia Black. It is about growing up in an alcoholic family and then becoming or marrying one, I did both. I know that I can't drink and have fun anymore. More power to them if they can. I know that one drink will block me from my higher power and I know my HP is finally so greatful that I have unblocked myself by staying sober and working the steps. It would be such a betrayal to my inner soul to cut the connection it so desperately has wanted for all of these years. I have a responsibility to my soul and I have made a committment and a promise to it.

From: sacha

01/05/2007 16:22:11

When i see people in the midst of active addiction i always say "well thats my higher power reminding me of were i could be if i don't continue to be dilligent in my recovery" i know that if i forget to be grateful or act out with old behavior i will go right back to where i came from......and who wants that!!!! I feel very sad now when i see people like that because i know how much they are suffering.

love Sacha,

By the grace of God go I

From: notagain

01/04/2007 22:07:05 I think its great you remembered all the bad stuff that drinking caused. I'm going to take a leaf out of your book if or when I find myself in the same situation. Thanks for sharing.

From: thom

01/04/2007 11:45:40 well said sinner its good to remember gives us that mental defence to combat our compultion to drink i work with other alchoholcs on a daily basis and like you too see what i was and what i could be again unles i take care of myself both physicaly and spiritualy thanks for the reminder god bless and protect you

From: manicmage29

01/04/2007 11:38:19 It is the "remember when" that helps to keep us sober. I work in residential treatment program for addicts and that look of fright and confusion they have when they first walk through our door is a constant remember when for me. It is enough to keep me sober for a day when I realize that is just one of the many things waiting for me if I relapse. Thank you for sharing that.

From: godluvsall

01/04/2007 10:54:51

Oh my, I'm sitting here in tears. Maybe tears of relief, tears of thankfulness, but I'm crying. In a good way. I was so like that, so sick, so lost, so scared. Oh God, I don't want to go back to that. I so didn't want to be like my father either.

So, thank you for sharing and reminding me of where I've been, where I don't want to go and that I have friends that support me, Like You:)

I thank my God for the reminders that I also need and thank God for saving me from distruction.

So proud of you! Thank you!

Tina

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