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Shannon
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Expectations/Acceptance ?
Posted On: 11/09/2008 00:19:38

Okay - I joined a new home group about 2 months ago. So I show up at this group & was luke-warmly welcomed. There was alot of drug court people in there but I looked hard for the recovery. I found it. I stayed. Love the group. The former treasurer has robbed the group and quit coming to meetings! Personally I want to act out on old behavior & choke the s**t out of the bitch! When confronted with the theft outside of the meeting - she wont own her s**t. puts it back on the group & then claims she just borrowed without asking & was going to put it back til someone started asking about the money (me) and she needed it for her kid. Okay - I am calling BULLSHIT. Borrowing without asking is STEALING!! The books/accounting records are pathetic at best and at group conscience some said let it go - maybe, she needed the money, blah blah blah. I said she needs to be held accountable & they say shes mean & scary just let it go. I say if she was remorseful & willing to pay back the group & make amends then okay but it doesnt seem that she is willing to do this. Realistically I know I am not really going to choke the s**t out of her other than in my mind but the thought does feel good. I am not surprised by the situation but I am surprised that some think it okay to turn a blind eye. I am all about forgiving but I am really having a hard time with this.  I have read the bulletin on na.org in regards to this type of thing happening & will prob read it again. So - I think today I am working on expectations & acceptance - any thoughts on all this from anyone?



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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: Nia
11/10/2008 07:33:22

Run it by your intergroup-A 'Group conscience' is available in AA,they can recomend

some one to provide 'impartial' help with traditions.

From: flowerchildofjc
11/09/2008 23:57:04

Oh boy, I know it's against our nature, but the only thing I could think of to do would be to pray for that woman. Pray for her again and again, until something happens. She is sick. We're all sick! Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting that someone else will die from it, you probably know that already;) It reminds me of some part in the big book (I suck at directly quoting) where it says that we don't have the luxury today of holding onto "justifiable anger". We must let it go as quickly as possible! I wish you the best in this journey of self love
God bless
-Jessie

From: DennisS
11/09/2008 09:07:18

    This happens - more often that one thinks. I am a secretay to a rather large meeting. When I took the job I expected rather sloppy bookkeeping. What I got was an envelope of money and no records whatsoever - perfect situation for embezzelment. If you read the steps and traditions in light of this occurance, you'll see two things. 
     One - people in these positions are trusted servants. By an act of collective conscience the group gave that trust - so the group takes it away. That is all. Period. End of story
     Two - that this person is not practicing the total honesty required of a person active in the fellowship. The group conscience needs a tune up.
     She cannot be trusted. It is her responsibility to make amends for the actions she took. The group has no recourse (legal or otherwise), if following the principles we are living under.
     OK - so you guys voted her in, now vote someone else in (although it is my experience that trusted servants are often chosen when they are't around). By virtue of the third and fifth traditions you cannot deny her access (should in fact encourage her) to the meetings - the possible outcome of denying her access is one I shudder to think of. 
     Another observation I have regarding us "trusted servants" is that we are in these positions by default. Most people are too busy with things important in their lives to serve the very community that saved their lives in the first place. Go figure.
     One of the things we do before the closing a meeting is have a moment of silence for those that still suffer, both inside and outside the fellowship. If your group does the same, you now have a name to add to that list...

YFIR,
Dennis


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