It's another day---to be grateful. I'm holding on to that and honoring the process.  Still sad and scared. I've been around long enough to bury several friends who have chosen to not to embrace recovery and return to active addiction.  I will say---but for the grace of god, there go I.  Where I live, there aren't a lot of oldtimes that continue to attend meetings (won't go there...a whole different topic).  So, when I share at meetings..which I do and share whatever is going on, including pain---I get "but you have time...."  Oldtimers need hugs and support too.  When I watch those I love go through their pain and I know that there is nothing I can do unless they want help---it sucks and hurts.  I know the ends---jail, institutions and death.  I've been taught that I need to allow people to go through their process and be there if they want help.  So, all I can do is be an example and not try to rescue anyone.  My sponsor's been great and always has words of wisdom or just an ear to listen---I guess somethimes that's all we need.  I'd love to go through life with nothing but positive things to share---but I live in reality (ugh) and it's not always warm and fuzzy.  So, thanks to all who listened (read) and comented on the last blog I did (new to the whole blog thing)  but I'm kinda liking it.  It's a great way to get things out and not hold them in to fester.  Shared pain is pain lessened. There is light at the end of the tunnel.  I don't want to slip into depression or anger (other issues), I've come too far. 
Peace
Lisa