It's been two years since I lost my Great-Grandma Arlee, and it hurts just as much as it did two years ago. I was her first great-grandchild and her living namesake (Caitlin Arlee). I was special because of that.

A lot of people never had a great-grandparent, but I did, and she meant so much to me. She helped raise me, and she was always an active part of my life. She was the most generous, giving, caring person that I knew. I looked up to her, I wanted (and still do) to have the wonderful qualities that she had.

The pain of losing her is still raw, even two years later. Still, I'm finding it easier and easier to look back on the memories and smile instead of cry. She was an amazing woman and I want to live my life in a way that would make her proud. She was my great-grandma, but she was so much more than that to me. She was so special to me. I just thank god that she saw me graduate high school, she saw me start college, and she saw me join a sorority (dear lord, don't get me started on that one...).

I got a tattoo for her. She loved margaritas, so any time we would go out to eat, she'd always get her margarita. It's green for margaritas and the three bubbles symbolize two things: mother-grandmother-great grandmother and it's also to symbolize that it's a margarita (bubbles = alcohol).

Anyway, this song always makes me think of her.



"To Where You Are" -- Josh Groban

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory, so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

I love you grandma. I hope I'm making you proud ♥

RIP Great-Grandma Arlee -- 4/27/1921 ~ 9/25/2006

 "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal." -- Old Irish Proverb

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." -- Charles Beard

Tags: Sad Depressed Reminiscing Lonely Tearful