I Got An Unmerited Gift. Interested In One Too?

By definition, unmerited means undeserved, and the gift I was given, the gift of life recovery-was seemingly undeserved. Why me?

The question has no answer that I understand.

For a long period of time, my life was in decline, some periods slow, some much more rapid and obvious to others. I was “too smart” to think anything was wrong. I was “too smart” to listen to the signals from others and away “too smart” to get help!

My personal relationships were in decline, to make an understatement, I wasn’t feeling good about myself, my mood altering activities were not doing what they once had done and my job performance was not nearly as good as it could have been. But I was functioning and showing a face to the world that said “I’m Fine”. I wasn’t.

While I have always tried to “give back” in my own way to things I was involved in, and was always there to help others, I know today while well intended, these things were part of the mask I wore. I wanted external validation that I was OK and liked.

The unmerited gift came right out of the blue. I don’t know why me.

To oversimplify, through a marital situation, I sought outside help. This help lead to another professional, to coaching and to therapy. It also lead to a support group. For some unknown reason it dawned on me, if I were that smart, why I had hit the lows that I hit.

I chose to get out of my own way and try something new. I sought help, and I sought change. While addictions certainly played a role in my past, what I truly wanted was a life with hope, serenity, feeling feelings, loving unconditionally, and the laughter and restful sleep I knew others enjoyed.

The gift had been waiting there for me for years. It is waiting for all who want it. To get it I had to get dumb, get out of my own way, and learn to trust. I have been fortunate to receive this unmerited gift, and it grows in its blissfulness everyday.

I wondered out loud today about why so many I see who have hit a “low” just don’t get it even when it is offered to them. Wise people explained to me that most of them are “too smart” or too something to get it. If they’re lucky, they’ll dummy up and get it.

I am grateful that I was chosen, on an unmerited basis, to get the gift of an abundant and rich life. It is there for all who need it.

Are you interested in getting a gift??