Faith is an oasis
in the heart
which will never be reached
by the caravan of
thinking.
KAHLIL GIBRAN
Sand and Foam
I always did think way too much. As a personality type on my profile, I have described myself as a thinker. Throughout my life, my mother would tell me "Angela, you think too much" and she was right. I didn't take much action but would spend hours thinking and tying myself up in knots. It did occur to me sometimes that my think, think, thinking led to ZERO. There is a saying from our our fellowship, that one guy kept throwing out "Analysis - Paralysis". What springs to mind is an image of a deer caught in the headlights. That was me.
When I fisrt came to AA to stay, I had lost everything. In fact, I'd never really gained all that much to lose, but what little I did have, I lost. I am just grateful that I never ended up on the street though I did come very close. At the beginning, if I had thought too much about my life situation, I would have paralyzed myself with fear, so I decided not to think and just do the next right indicated thing, which meant, don't drink, go to meetings, pray, and trust the process. I adopted the same attitude towards my, twice in recovery, unemployed status. I'm glad I was able to do this, because it saved me from much suffering, and it also showed me that I can trust my Higher Power. My life has become progressively more comfortable. I am clean and sober, I have laughter in my life, I have friends, I have never wanted for anything, and I am now gainfully employed. I listened less to my "chattering monkey" thoughts, and paid heed to my inner feelings about things. Deep down inside of me, I knew that if I just kept doing a few simple (and as Dennis has written at times, not always easy) things, that all would be well. I am reminded of one of my walks, where I cleared dead leaves from the path I was on, to reveal a piece of paper which simply said "Just have faith"
Thank you for keeping me clean and sober today
Peace be with you all
Tags: Out With The Old In With The New
