Another challenge is facing me and I’m so glad I’m no longer in the midst of my addiction. My ex has been using amphetamines again and the paranoia has set in I think.

She has taken out a Violence Restraining Order on me regarding an incident that happened at her home which I have absolutely no idea about – very frustrating it is.

I had annoyed her in the past with too many phone calls and txt messages on nights of drinking but this has not occurred for months. I am in no way a violent person and have never threatened violence against her.

6 months ago I would have crashed and succumb to the bottle again, thanks to my HP I have restrained and feel so much better for it. Being able to think clearly on the matter and not become angered or bitter has created and interesting internal situation for me.

I am upset regarding having to defend myself in court against an incident I’m not aware of but I am joyous as well.

The pride I have in myself for how I am dealing with it is by far out weighing the sadness and confusion. I am getting support from all angles now I am actually asking for it, once again thanks to my HP. Even the mother of my eldest daughter has agreed to write a statutory declaration stating that in the 21 years we have know each other at no time have I displayed any form of violence, even when we went through our break up 14 years ago!

I find myself paying for my ex despite the order; I still care for her well being and hope she can find the strength to battle her demons as I am.

God Bless.