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Slipping

Posted On: 07/19/2008 01:20:16

Well, after a good day...

I slipped back a little. I refrained form getting drunk but I caved in last night. I had a heated conversation with my Mum about my 16y/o's behaviour while she was with her. It brought up some past hidden emotions form my teenage years. I began to feel low, my thoughts started focusing on the pain I have caused and I slipped..

I had a choice this morning to look at this negatively or positively... I chose the positive.

I immediately felt the depressing effects and not long after burst into tears. It was my inner child form my teenage years letting out the anguish I felt regarding my Mothers actions when I was younger, So I let him...

I began to dwell on my lost love. I remained strong and sent no messages. I used to be so good at sending them when I was drunk, they were usually accusation or insulting.

I got rid of the remaining alcohol and didn't get drunk, a display of self control I didn't think I would have, but thanks to my HP's guidance... I'm getting there.

I have decided to stop all alcohol intake, rather than just not getting drunk. This experience has helped me to see recovery for me is all or nothing...

I decide to give it my all... One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: DennisS

07/20/2008 14:59:05

     Nia's got the best part of it. You aren't ever gonna unload that bag of rocks you're carrying around unless you take action. Getting rid of the booze is a good, but insufficient start, like a new-years resolution. The best laid plans are just that - plans.
    Now just may be a good time to eliminate the reasons for the booze.
    Meetings, sponsor and steps. Too many of us die without them...

Take care,
Dennis

From: Nia

07/19/2008 08:00:28 O.K. time to start teaching yourself new habits- (& give yourself another "out") Suggestions: 12 step Meetings offer support and also a chance to share with others in our common disease (Diss- Ease) They give us the option of getting phone numbers-so we can reach out for help helps us find: Temporary sponsor/ sponsor ! the list goes on- Blessings, Nia

From: serenity_angel

07/19/2008 04:57:05 Hey there, well I have been the queen of the relapse so dont feel alone. Well done for being so strong and keeping it together! I have written some blogs on my relapses feel free to take a peek if it helps you. Stay strong, well done. You are doing great.

From: Isiah491421

07/19/2008 01:42:35 Bravo for choosing to look at the slip in a positive way. It takes what it takes. I have been what is termed a chronic slipper but as you have noted, there really isn't anywhere else to turn except to recovery. Isn't it wonderful that HP loves you so much that he is drawing you relentlessly in... Get up, shake down, keep going...all is well Peace

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