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Endurancefan
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My last week
Posted On: 04/28/2008 05:41:07

I'm so glad I've been working the steps these past few months!  I was pacing the floor last night, finished the bottle of olives, and emptied-out the peanut can.  Good thing I haven't left myself much food in the house but some fruits and some frozen vegetables.  I finally shifted my pattern/dance and dropped down on my knees and prayed.  I don't usually pray at times like this because I've believed that I should approach God only when I can have a sincere discussion and offer praise and focus all my attention during my prayer and be ready to receive inspiration and act on that inspiration.  Wow, was I in error.  He calmed me down and put me to rest.  This is my last week in the area where I was born, raised, built a house with God's help, and raised seven children.  It's hard to leave.  I start my 2000-mile journey one week from now.  The worse is today though.  I have this medical appointment/follow-up that I'm suppose to have once a year but I only do about every 5 years.  I've had the appointment for 6 months.  The problem is physical but relates to my PTSD.  He's the only MD in the area that even understands the procudure I had, and he's retiring this year; I think I was # 41 or 43 that had it done, then i think they abandoned the procedure.  At least I helped further medical science.    I've got Jesus to hold my hand today!    He's sitting right next to me!  I can't even find the paperwork I'm suppose to take.  Oh well.  I was just remembering, when the procedure was done at 121 hosp in Seoul, I was profiled to drink a six-pack of beer daily.  Now I know that's not much, but if 6 was good, 12 must be better, etc.  I remember the look on the CO's face when I handed him the profile and my case of beer.  He dispensed one every 3-4 hours while i was on duty.   Hey this writing stuff actually does help.  I apologize to any and all who read this.   Weel, it;s time to get on with my ordeal.  God bless all of you in your ordeals this and every day!

Tags: Leaving Home Goodbye



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Viewing 1 - 5 out of 5 Comments

From: puddinpop
05/11/2008 14:51:03

Hang in there John.  As you know, "Your help CHRIST JESUS is on hand."
Have you thought about giving him the PTSD.  Worked for my husband,
he had been in Nam.  Just a thought.

Sister in CHRIST
Gerelene

From: jd
04/28/2008 15:18:54

hey there.  i'm a bit confused by your ordeal, but curious. 

you caught my interest when you stated you believe you should pray when you have time to receive and act on inspiration from God.  ahhh, i'm so glad you relized that is not the case.  if i practiced that i'd never communicate with him.  granted, i do need to slow down. 

i take Him everywhere.  talk all the time.  i need to practice listening. 

okay, good luck with your journey (still curious) and i'm glad you grabbed the hand offered by Jesus.

From: Endurancefan
04/28/2008 12:02:57

Honey, I'm home!  I survived the ordeal.  I felt the pouring rain was just a reflection of my mood this morning, you know with it being overcast, dreary, wet and cold, etc.  However, Jesus was there to hold my hand.  First I imagined Him being my same size and we held hands down by our sides, then I realized I was just a child and he was my older brother and I held-up my hand in the air as His hand hung down to hold mine.  (Can you imagine what other peaople must think?)  Then after the appointment, they ask you to sit in a special area where they make the next appointment and discuss whatever billing that hasn't been discussed; I couldn't stay as the tears started to well-up.  I left the office and went into the stairwell and let it all out.  Jesus had both His arms around me.  It was then, as I looked out the window at the rain, that I realized how cleansing the rain was.  As I was driving home, there was this car stuck in an intersection, at Sweetheart Corners.  I helped push it out of the intersection just as an ambulance came blaring through.  The pouring rain was so enjoyable, except for my feet slipping as I pushed.  I hope I keep my feet firmly planted in working these steps!  I reviewed my workbook regarding steps one and two while I was in the doctor's office.  God is great and all loving!  And I appreciate how he works through you guys!  Thanks!



From: Nia
04/28/2008 07:53:21

Love it when we can imagine talking to our higher power as though we have them next to us- I do it in my truck, a lot- I get on my knees
as often as I need-(even in public restrooms)

   It reminds me what the cowboys sometimes do on the way out (of the bucking arena)  sometimes it is to drop on one knee- sometimes more like a gesture towrd that-(genuflect I think they call it) it helps me knowing if they can do it any time, anywhere, so can I ! Nia

From: godluvsall
04/28/2008 06:03:15

You are in my prayers. Everything for a reason, right?  You have the Trusting down, now God will come through for you. 




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