I had a tough time sleeping last night; I was pretty restless.  I remember one dream/nightmare, though it didn't feel like a nightmare while I was having it.  While having it I was just doing what I was doing without the emotion I felt I should be having; it's kind of hard to explain.  Well, here it is anyway.  I was a soldier.  Most the other soldiers were having a good time playing in the water in this cave, splashing around and everything.  Other soldiers were standing outside on guard duty.  The water looked cool and inviting and I new that those spashing around in it were having a great time.  However, I was kind of numb toward it all.  I walked outside and looked-up and saw a squad of enemy soldiers moving-in on the ridge.  I didn't have a weapon and I hurried to alert those on guard duty.  The enemy had automatic weapons and opened fire mowing-down the guards that had their backs to the enemy.  I was in the water as one of the hit guards dropped his rifle.  I grabbed the rifle before it completely submerged beneath the water.  I took-out two of the enemy with two very focussed shots (I had been taught to use a rifle at the age of 11 in military school in Vermont and had earned many of the NRA certifications prior to the age of 12, the legal age of using a rifle here in New York; I find it amazing that I still know how to use an M16 after all these decades, but in the dream I went through all the steps.)  There were many more of the enemy conceled.  The dream eneded.  As I ponder the dream, I think the enemy soldiers are my addictions.  No matter what we do in life, we must remain constantly on guard.  I obviously need a weapon, use all the steps in using the weapon, and take-out the enemy one by one.  I'm currently loosing my composure as I type this.  I'm feeling a lot of hate right now.  Sorry.  Out here.

Tags: Dream Watchful Addiction