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Creation is Thought
Posted On: 01/19/2008 01:05:15
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 "I'm not talking to you from the point of view of wishful thinking or imaginary craziness. I'm talking to you from a deeper, basic understanding.Quantum physics really begins to point to this discovery. It says that you can't have a Universe without mind entering into it, and that the mind is actually shaping the very thing that is being perceived." -- Dr. Fred Alan Wolf (quantum physicist, lecturer, and award-winning author)
This is a quote from a book I've been reading, called "The Secret".
What seperates man from animals isn't simply a matter of intelligence, as it has been proven time and time again that animals are indeed intelligent and capable of learning. However, despite the fact that man has an opposible thumb (as does the racoon), man has creative intelligence.
I'm not sure how many of you have ever heard of the Law of Attraction, but the idea is that the emotional energies - both positive and negative - we send out into the cosmos, comes back to us. While on some level, I find it particularly spiritually selfish and misleading, I do, however, find the overall belief in the power of positive thought and affirmation to be rather thought provoking. And it's not hard, for me, to see the power of what we think of as God, existing.
Up until the past couple of years, I have grown to be a bit of an agnostic in comparision of the religious upbringing I had by my grandparents, and the metaphysical philosophies by my mother. For me, I find the whole concept to be fascinating and rather profound.
I realize my last couple of blog entries has revolved around the disappointment with my daughter. At the time I was writing the follow-up in my last blog, it didn't occur to me that I was complaining instead of taking much action to change things. Sure, I've been saying "no" in response to her asking me for endless favors, but I have offered excuses, even lies (to avoid confrontation), instead of coming out and saying how I feel directly.
This, being a major problem in my list of defects, has made me realize I still have much work in learning to change how I perceive myself.
What is interesting also, is that my past relationships share a common pattern.
The pattern, I've found, have worked out on levels of how I have perceived myself from a very, very young age... Experiences with my biological sperm doner which involved being ignored and neglected (rejection), also emotional and mental - even physical - abuse, and eventually abandonment. He was rather cruel and sadistic to us - particularly toward the female gender, and my mom got the brunt of the physical abuse...though she wasn't the only one by any means.
To give you an idea of what I went through: he refused to support his family after coming back from Vietnam and getting discharged from the army, saying 'the world owed him'. So my mom was forced to get a job. While he was particularly responsible toward my brother, who was a baby at the time (although the physical abuse to my baby brother nearly cost him his life), I was left to fend for myself. Literally. At the age of 4, a neighbor, who turned out to be a child predator, molested me and several other girls of various ages. I was the youngest, and this lasted for seven months.
When my parents found out, my biological father's reaction was, "She's female. It's to be expected."
My perception of self and the world around me became very warped. I never learned what it meant to have self respect, let alone dignity. I had the old valued thinking of "respect your elders" pounded into my head. I learned very young that it was better to be seen and not heard, so I never knew the importance of expressing myself. And that included my thoughts and feelings. Instead, I developed the classic behavior of a codependent... People pleasing; being responsibile for others; putting my needs, feelings, dignity, self respect and values on the back burner - all this to get, what I perceived as love and acceptance, I never had with my so-called 'dad'.
Typically, but not quite oddly, the relationships I've had since then always incorporated the same elements since my earliest experience. Elements that include my perception of self as well as my fears.
"What does the Law of Attraction have to do with this or with recovery?" you ask. Simple...
The idea of this 'cosmic law' that manifestations can come about just from our thoughts. Much like self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we invest the emotional energy into these thoughts, the quicker they come into being.
We've heard countless times of various clichés of the power of 'positive thinking' and 'positive attitudes'. No doubt, during our journey in recovery, has revealed that we all share negative perceptions about ourselves. Perceptions that keep rearing it's ugly head over and over again at some point within our lives, until we stop and realize that something needs changing. Interestingly enough, those things that needs to be changed exists within us, and how we feel about ourselves.
There was an example in the book I've been reading about... A gay man who was being harrassed by people at his work and on the street. What was interesting about this story was that this man was focusing on his fear of being treated badly due to his sexual preference. It was suggested to him that he stop and take a look at what he was saying... Everything he didn't want was being manifested, instead of what he wanted. He took this suggestion to heart and began to change his perceptions around. Needless to say, several weeks later, the people who had been harrassing him either no longer were, or were no longer around.
For me, it makes sense.
It is said that all life is interconnected. If that is true, I can see the spiritual value of the 12 Steps, Promises and Traditions... No matter what we believe in, it is the same for us all. It's fascinating to me how religion, science and phychology are bridged together with metaphysical philosophy, that demonstrates an underlying force that is ever-present and ever at work. Not just in our lives, but everything around us.
My perceptions of self, especially parts of myself that were never nurtured or given a chance to develop, played a huge role into how and why my life has become unmanagable. Those perceptions and fears manifested repeating situations in my life, in which I could either continue the cycle of insanity (repeating the same habits and expecting different results) or change old ways of thinking that hasn't been working for me.
Such is the choice of free will.
Tags: Reflective
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