I realize I haven't logged in in a few days, and with my last blog I contemplated on giving up... So I can see how my absence may have appeared that way.

Truth is, yes, my mom did have a heart attack. Thankfully it was only a mild one.

When they discovered she had two more blocked arteries (again in the major ones - one being 87% blocked, while the other, over 50%), they're still uncertain as to what may have caused it as the stent they placed a couple years ago had 98% blockage and she was on the razor's edge of having the 'big one'.

She did have the new stents put in yesterday and came through just fine... Thank you God! However, the family is in a bit of a mess because none of us really understood (and still doesn't) her logic.

It's been an emotional rollercoaster for all of us, but at least she's promised she'll do something the next time she starts feeling odd.

As for me, I'm thinking I'm needing a mental/emotional break and try to regroup.

It's bad enough we already lost our dad, but the fear of losing our mom too, well... Instead of having faith and learning on God, I panicked and allowed all the abandonment issues take on an unhealthy life of it's own. Berating myself isn't going to get me anywhere... I've still much self dissecting to do if I ever hope to overcome these faults I have.

One... step... at a time.