Yep - I'm back again. Put away the good china and hide the coin collection. Bill Pietsch and his book is putting me in a very dangerous place - my head. Sure enough, no doubt about it. I been thinking again. And it hurts.

     "Accept the things we cannot change. Courage to change the things I can". Simple enough. If it rains, it rains - right? I can't do a thing about that.

     What about the roof leaking? OK, I can fix that. Oh wait - it's Sunday and the hardware store is closed. Maybe I can borrow some patch from my neighbor. Oh wait -I got into an argument with him last week over a party I had that was too loud. He won't even talk to me. SH*T, get the buckets and pans out. Now I'm pissed off.

     If we were all hermits life would be simple - but we aren't and it isn't. The hardest fact I have had to swallow is that God will not change the world to fit my idea of perfection.  Stoplights would always turn green when I pulled up to them. Everyone would think like me. Life would be great. Right?

     So now I am forced to accept the fact that God, the world and all you people are not going to change your ways to fit my views. How brutally callous and  unfair of you. I could just have a hissy fit.

     Instead I have to accept the fact that if I had fixed my roof before it rained, I wouldn't have had the leaks. If I had not gotten into the argument, I could have borrowed the patch I needed. News flash, people - there appears to be a common thread to all the things I have a hard time accepting. Me. Go figure.

     There will always be things I cannot change - like God, the stoplights and the rain - and all of you. But the point I see in this is that there would be far less bitter drinks to swallow if I hadn't set myself up for them in the first place. My own actions - many times because of a lack of courage and foresight, both then and now, have and will set the tone for the things I will be forced to accept.

    It is saying we can change many things we don't like to accept - by having the courage to never let them happpen at all. How sweet it is...

     I never want to be a drunk again. So I guess I just won't take that drink today.

Thank you for being a part of my recovery,

Dennis