Last night, I was told by someone close to me, that my recovery was outshining my relationship with them. That the fellowship of GA was of greater importance than my relationship with them. I told them that I felt recovery was the most important thing for me to do, in order to regain my life and share life with them. That went over like a ton of bricks.
I used to not give a damn, I used to have tunnel vision, the most important thing to me was the next bet. Slowly, I am crawling from the Pit, only to have the person I care for most say to me, they don't see that much of a change. The analogy used was as follows: If a dog gets beaten for many years, and the owner finally changes their ways, the dog is still not going to believe it's owner has changed unless there are demonstrations of change. That is stimulus-response at it's most basic. I have changed...for the better.....I try to show it in as many ways as I can, but trust is something earned...and trust has been broken in both directions.
