Well the time has come, I can't sit around and moan about all the things that are wrong in my life any more.  It is high time I began to engage with those problems and see how behaving differently might affect them.  Like asking for what I want, like being honest when I don't like something instead of putting up and shutting up.

And that is ok, I think I could do that, if I knew what it was I wanted for a start.  Years of going along with everyone else have not given me a good grounding in knowing what it is I want.  It's not selfish to ask for what you want, there will be discussion and you might have to accept you won't get it but at least everyone knows.

I also have a whole shedload of outmoded ideals that have not changed in decades because they were all impossible anyway.  Like the perfect relationship I never had which has just got in the way of making a really good one out of what I had.

I feel a real good spring clean coming on, in my house and in the house of my soul. Cara

Tags: Reflective