Hey everyone, I managed to get back here at last. Recovery continues, I think that it is life that I find hard. I have been through a bit of a critical phase, for a while I wanted to change everything in my life including me and the way I do relationships.

But none of it changed or seemed possible to change, I got more and more dissatisfied. Shouldn't recovery be changing my life more, shouldn't I be seeing some improvement by now and being able to solve my problems.

I had imagined the life I would live when I recovered, I wasn't getting there. I got very stressed and slightly depressed. I was tempted to drop the responsibilities I found hard just to make something change.

Then last weekend, feeling tired and jaded I thought it was time I seriously prayed. I remembered the serenity prayer.

'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change'

So I did, some of it was easy, a relief to let go and stop struggling but some of it was painful because I had to admit that these were not my problems and they really were things I could not change. But I accepted all my life the way it was.

And I was astonished at the miracle of peace which filled me. There may be an occasion in the near future when I have to have the courage to change something but today I need to accept what God has placed in my hands and appreciate that.

I hope that change and growth will come but I know it will come in God's time. Meanwhile I have some work to do. Cara

Tags: Serene