Well I was being good.  But it has been a rough week and it was only a case of who would I start fantasising about first.  It turned out to be an internet pal, someone I knew years ago.  I just got this idea in my head about meeting up with him again and my imagination ran with it.  I was very close to sending him a message too.  In fact I'm not sure I still won't although I am trying to be sensible.  Now I have the adrenaline hangover to deal with and it serves me right really.

It is bad when it gets you like that, when doing the wrong thing seems the only thing possible and you can't see it any other way.  What else can I say?  I'm not quite as recovered as I thought I was.  Maybe this weekend I won't be too proud to ring my sponsor.  Thinking back the wrong thinking patterns started a week ago.  I was a bit crazy then too.  I just didn't realise.  Oh dear.  I just got that feeling you get when you wake up the next morning and remember what you did at the party.  Thank God I didn't ruin what is a perfectly good friendship.  And thank God I didn't actually go below my bottom line even if I wanted to. Cara

Tags: Disappointed