There has been a strange feeling creeping up on me this week, at first I couldn't quite identify it but eventually after a couple of days of feeling puzzled about it I had to conclude that it felt like contentment.

I can't remember the last time I felt contented, there was always something not quite right in my life and the grass looked a lot greener over the other side of any fence.  It also seems a strange time to experience this when I am totally stressed out and far too busy, but even so there seems to be a kind of order there which is totally outside my understanding.  I think it must be the 'peace that passes all understanding'.

I think it is a lot to do with learning to put my concerns into God's hands but it is also to do with losing my expectations.  I am learning to accept life as it is and to stop trying to make it what I think it should be.  I think I even had expectations of recovery and got disappointed when it didn't work out the way that seemed right to me. 

Well that is how I feel right now - who knows how I will feel next week - no expectations.  Cara

Tags: Serene