Life at the moment, it seems when it is good it is very good, but when it is bad it is horrid.  For a while and at least for the next two weeks I am under pressure.  That is not a good place for me. I know my addiction is likely to flare up at just the wrong moment and lead me off down a blind alley.  Some days at work I know that only half of my brain is attending and the other half is fantasizing.  At least I don't take the fantasies seriously these days and just accept and let them go.  I had a bit of a wobbly week not so long ago when even being in a meeting with a group of men was triggering, but these things do pass.

I am trying to be gentle with myself though, in between the mad rushing.  One good side effect of all this stress is that my step four inventory is coming along rather nicely, no shortage of character defects showing.  And I am leaning heavily on my Higher Power which is how it should be.

One thing to celebrate is the completion of a year since I last had sex with anyone but my husband.  I count my sobriety date as the day that relationship ended which was later but hey, I survived the year without comitting adultery. Cara

Tags: Serene