What is it about being a sex addict? I have just realised that my emotions never seem to quite match what is going on in my life.  As far as things go it has been a good weekend.  Spent the day with a man on business on Friday and got quite pally without even thinking about him sexually.  That's a first for me.  Went out to see a band with my husband on Saturday and enjoyed some rock nostalgia which was really good except that I spent the whole night in a compulsive sex fantasy.  Church on Sunday was inspirational but the adrenaline hangover made me feel grotty all day and not able to appreciate properly our team winning a pub quiz.

It is a holiday weekend here in the UK so I am off work until Wednesday.  I should feel great but all I feel is a bit empty, like something is missing.  It is a feeling I have had all my life.  Does anyone else identify with that?

I know I shouldn't beat myself up, I am what I am, and I know I am free from acting out below my bottom line but life can be a bit of a mixed bag sometimes.  Now all I have to do is figure out what happened on Saturday night and why.

Cara

Tags: Reflective