I had to reply to all that because it was soo good.  It was good for me to know you understood, that you had been where I was, running away from real relationships and being what people want me to be.  Yes, you are right it is time I was me again, or even for the first time and it is time I got some more support from my female friends even though that may mean I have to be more honest about my addiction with some of them.

No man ever did for me what I wanted, I looked for affirmation and support and I just got sex - or they did!  Respect is what it is all about and believe me I am starting to see it a bit differently now.

My sponsor asked me to think of three positive things about myself.  Amazing how difficult that was but I got there. It is a start anyway.

Thank you all for that, I appreciate each one of you and your wisdom and insight more than you can know. Cara

This is my problem too - I lose who I am because I am always trying to morph into the person I think someone wants me to be...then, eventually I feel that I make more sacrifices for the other person, and I start resenting that they never make any. The thing is, anyone who is RIGHT for us, will automatically like us for US. And we won't have to get their attention, say the right things, etc.......they will see the real person within. The problem with our way of thinking, is that because we are such chamelians and can become anyone for anybody, we are not so sure WHO WE ARE. That, my friend, is where you should start...and make some female friends. Ones that you can love, think of them as sisters...as people who need you - it took me a long time to be able to have a relationship with women at all.... I didn't trust them, thought they would take all the men in the world and leave me with none, LOL - as if that is POSSIBLE! Now, I wouldn't trade my girls for the world!

 Anyway, my ramblings have a point.....it is - things that are meant to be will come in time, but as far as the wrong kind of attention from men, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE WORTH AFFECTION, YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHANGE!! And you do not need a man to make you feel any of those things. All you need is self-love, trust in the Lord and trust in yourself to know that you will be ok if someone throws himself at you or not.

ok, you may not like my comment.  but who cares if they like you or not?  do you like everybody?  there is a difference between liking and respecting.  when there is no respect, you should be concerned.

i guess i could drive myself crazy trying to please people so they like me.  act how i think they think i should.  that would be so miserable.  i think i'm the exact opposite.  definately not a people pleaser.  just me. 

are you running because of what people (men) may think if they get to know you?

i like who i am and realize not everyone will feel the same way.  i wish you the same.

I've been running away from relationships as well. And I'm the same way with men. I like it better if they show interest...Even if I'm not interested. I try to see them all as friends, but that's still kinda hard for me at the moment.

~Chanel~