As a using addict, I became quite adept at flying under the radar, consequently it's been close to 30 years since I was last locked down. Today I'm going back inside for orientation on an H&I commitment. If anyone had told me even just three years ago that someday I'd be going to jail willingly, I'd have offered them another hit off the pipe and told them to get real, as if anyone can get real behind a pipe. The fact is, there wasn't anyone around three years ago. I didn't want anyone around me and no one wanted to be around me. I can't believe that I actually have some fear around this commitment, but I do. Anyway, when you get right down to it the 12th step is really all this recovery thing is about, the other eleven steps just prepare us to carry the message to the still suffering addict, both in and out of the rooms. Our message is hope and the promise is freedom.