The problem isn't cutting.... Its the cause of the cutting that is the problem.

Im fine... really. (they dont believe it either)

How will you know that I am hurting if you cannot see my pain? To wear it on my body tells what words cannot explain.

THEY DO NOT KNOW ME BUT THEY HAVE LABLED ME.

The cry of the unheard... Can you hear it?

MEANING:

Cutting - a permanent "solution" (my solution) to a temporary problem.

 Question: Is it really worth it?

Answer: Im still trying to figure it out.

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it has been a long time since i have been on here. some major crap has happened through that time to but also some very exciting things.

my parents are finally devorced (YAY). thats the good thing.

the thing that was extremely crapy was i started to hear voices. and they werent just things that would seem like a thought if that made sence. it was like they were right there in the room. i was terrified of the dark and i had gotten to the point where i couldnt even be alone without me making a horrible decission. i began cutting atleast 3 times a day. they would tell me i am a failure and that i will never be able to stop. then one day it started to get suicidal. they started saying that i would be drenched in my own blood, and that i would soon be theirs and just a bunch of crap. i tried commiting suicide over 6 times. but the last time it happened which was last thursday i fought it and won. this might not sound like a big deal but this urge to commit suicide was the first time where i actually wanted to. but i fought it and won. i became free from them and have actually started to enjoy life... for once

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these last few weeks have been a mess. my mom found out about my dad sexually abusing me. she found out from a DSS worker. the DSS worker came to our house at 10 pm. i was terified that i was going to be taken away from my mom. i was shaking uncontrolably. i called my basketball coach because he is the only one i really talk to. he told me that he called them but they werent supposed to come that night. ounce he told me that i burst into tears. i couldnt controle it. now i have had to go tell people what happened over and over again. im on anti-depression to because i kept thinking of suicide. everyone keeps telling me that i am strong....but they dont know just how weak i am.

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OH MY GOSH!! I am proud to say that I have not cut for a whole week. I know it probably dosnt seem like much but it is to me. I mean...I was cutting 4-5 times a day and now I have gone a WEEK....A WHOLE WEEK! without doing it once.
THANKS BE TO GOD!!!!!

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My name is Heather. My life...wow. where do I begin? Well I am one of six kids. I have had a pretty hard family life but it could be worse. My mom and dad are in the middle of a divorce because my dad was cheating on her and because he blames my mom for everything he was unhappy about. He told me ounce that he was never happy with her. That he was misserable form the begining. I always wonder why he would stay with her and have six kids but then I always reminde myself that God has a reason for it. Anyways, yeah so my dad is leaving. Im releived that he is to. He physically and sexually abuses me. ofcourse this isnt the first time either. I was sexually abused by two guys who i thought were my friends. and I mean like brother and sister kind of relationship....or atleast I thought it was. I have also been raped. Its been hard dealing with these things...and i have gotten in some situations that Im not to proud of and am dealing with extreme depression and suicidle thoughts. I am also cutter. Have been for awhile now. The thing is I dont want to do this anymore. I have been in recovery for about a month and let me tell you...it has been one of the hardes things ive ever done but Im proud to say that I am going to be sticken with it. No matter what.

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