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Well, I have gotten through more than a week without a cigarette. I feel really good. Im starting to think about it less when Im alone.... Being around friends who are smoking is still rough for me. Last night we Lit a fire in the back yard, and while everyone else was smoking, I was making smores. I must have had about 4 huge ones, lol. Im a little worried about replacing one addiction with another, cigarettes with food. I've noticed that when I like something, I almost always go overboard and have a hard time with moderation. I haven't really looked too much into the twelve steps, but I bought a book online to start educating myself on addiction. Through all of this, I am learning that I have multiple addictions. Not drug related, but some very unhealthy patterns that are similar to my smoking obsession. I really never knew before this that co-dependancy is actually considered an addiction? I definitely have some issues with this also, especially things that I have dealt with in the past. I am wondering if this is something many people discover when going through this process- recovery, 12 steps, ect. Anyhoo, I am feeling like a healthier me. I am also realizing that In many ways I am more messed up than I thought, lol. But, I guess that is just how it is. I can breathe now. Alot less guilt and anxiety over what I am putting into my body. Thank you people for your help. Im going to be away for two weeks. Take Care  &nb sp; - Laur
Tags: Happy
Okay, so things have been going okay this morning. I had my last cigarette at about 11pm last night... and I have been up since 6:30 this morning, without taking a cigarette. I feel okay, I have been trying to keep myself busy by running around the house. I have had about 6 cups of Plantation Mint tea so far, LOL. It seems to kind of mimick the sensation of the cigarette a little bit, so it is keeping me content for the most part. As the hours go by, the feeling that I am going to jump out of my skin gets a little stronger, It feels pretty easy to fly of the handle, and my stomach burns a bit. God is reminding me, which is helping... that death is a painful process (the addiction), but there is FREEDOM on the other side of it. Im hanging in there! Thank you everyone for your support and concern... I really need it and I am grateful 
Well.... tomorrow is my quit date. Tonight I am going to prepare and empty ashtrays, throw out cigarettes, ect. I have heard that it is really important to replace the addiction with a good habit, so first thing tomorrow morning I am going to the gym to work out. Water will now be my cigarette. I am going to need some prayer. I completely realize this isn't going to be possible for the long term without God. I am excited, but I know I am going to have some really rough moments. Here goes....
Tags: Reflective
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