Man, I suck!  Only been straight 2 days over the past 8 weeks. Sporting track marks ought to go over well for the school's open house!  I feel like a vampire without a day pass and don't look much better.  All that progress, finally a good friend in my life, bills paid and on time, no bounced checks, closer with kids, not late for work, feeling good, looking good - I guess turning my back on all that because the dope man just happend to be at the Quik Trip at the same time two months ago makes sense.  It has to some where, but I seem to be having trouble finding justification.  But then again the text book says "baffling . . . insane disease"  Oh - there is my excuse!  I'm a drug addict and I'm suppose to act this way. I figure no one is going to up my standards any higher than I set them, Maybe I should raise the bar a little and try again.

Tags: Backslide Off Wagon Relapse

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I was adopted shortly after birth.  I met my birth mom and my siblings 16 years ago.  Things got weird, I got scared, and backed off.  I have not seen them in 14 years but continued to talk to them some.  Then came along my "period of unpleasantness"  and I lost touch with everyone.  I moved around alot, may or may not have had a phone, no one knew where to find me most of the time- not even the parents that raised me.  It has been 6 years since I have spoken with my biological mom until a couple of weeks ago.  She invited me up over the weekend and I spent part of Memorial Day with my her and her family.  It was odd seeing how I have in common with these people that are strangers to me.  I am so much more like them than the people I have spent my entire life with.  It was awesome. 

Tags: Biological Family Genetics Nature Nurture Adoption

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I am having trouble uploading pictures.  It always says "file type is not supported"  I've never had trouble uploading pictures before and I'm pretty good at computers (A+ certified) but I'm at a loss as to what my problem is.  I've tried 3 different file extensions and resizing the pictures but I am clearly missing something here.  Any suggestions?

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Apparently i enjoy playing "sabotage" because when things seem to be going good I [unintentionally] screw it up so my life is back full of drama and chaos.  I'm comfortable there, this smooth ride is outside my box and scary. I don't understand my reasoning.  But I do know that in order to get my life back I'm gonna have to get uncomfortable for a while.  I'm not afraid of failure.  Hell, I'm pretty darn good at it.  Its this success thing that scares me.  I don't know me as that person.  Not only is a new life strange, I'm gonna be the stranger living it.  I have no friends (except alcoholics and drug addicts).  I'm tired of that.  If there is anyone in the Atlanta area that i would love to meet.

DeeJay  (mall of Ga area)

Tags: Self-sabotage

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