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You Know you are in recovery if.......... .
1. You drink more coffee per day than Starbucks sells in one week.
2. Emails to your friends have "HALT" as the subject header.
3. You and your buddies get thrown out of expresso bars and teahouses for being "too rowdy."
4. Songs like "There's a Tear In My Beer" make you cry for reasons different than most people.
5. For parties with your friends, you buy a couple cases of Mountian Dew and Pepsi-Cola.
6. Dining out, you wonder how someone at the next table, can drink half a glass of wine and leave the rest.
7. There is at least one magnet on your refrigerator, plaque on your wall, or bumper-sticker on your car with an inspirational message printed on it.
8. You don't know the last names of most of your best friends.
9. If you need advice on money, you ask the guy in your meeting who used to be bankrupt.
10. When you empty your purse or pockets you find at least one of the following: a keytag, scraps of paper with phone numbers of people you met in meetings.
11. Your idea of a pick-up line is, "I really liked what you shared."
12. No matter how bad a day you had, if you go to bed clean , you consider yourself a winner!
You Know you are in recovery if.......... .
1. You drink more coffee per day than Starbucks sells in one week.
2. Emails to your friends have "HALT" as the subject header.
3. You and your buddies get thrown out of expresso bars and teahouses for being "too rowdy."
4. Songs like "There's a Tear In My Beer" make you cry for reasons different than most people.
5. For parties with your friends, you buy a couple cases of Mountian Dew and Pepsi-Cola.
6. Dining out, you wonder how someone at the next table, can drink half a glass of wine and leave the rest.
7. There is at least one magnet on your refrigerator, plaque on your wall, or bumper-sticker on your car with an inspirational message printed on it.
8. You don't know the last names of most of your best friends.
9. If you need advice on money, you ask the guy in your meeting who used to be bankrupt.
10. When you empty your purse or pockets you find at least one of the following: a keytag, scraps of paper with phone numbers of people you met in meetings.
11. Your idea of a pick-up line is, "I really liked what you shared."
12. No matter how bad a day you had, if you go to bed clean , you consider yourself a winner!
Email Acronyms YIS Yours In Service
Fun Acronyms ABCs Acceptance, Belief, Change
Ashtrays, Brooms, Chairs ACTION Any Change Towards Improving One's Nature
Any Change To Improve Our Nature ADDICT Anybody Doing Drugs In Compulsive Trouble
Angry Dishonest Deceitful Insane Careless Thinking AIDS Active In Dangerous Sex
Addicts Injecting Dirty Syringes ANONYMOUS Actions, Not Our Names, Yield Maintenance Of Unity & Service ANGER Any No Good Emotion Rising ASK Ass Saving Kit BUT Being Unconvinced Totally CALM Can Anger Leave Me CARE Comforting And Reassuring Empathy CHANGE Choosing Honestly Allows New Growth Everyday CLEAN Completely Leaving Every Addiction Now COURAGE 'Cause Of Using, Recovery's A Great Effort CRAP Carry Resentments Against People DEAD Drugs Ends All Dreams DENIAL Don't Even Notice I Am Lying
Don't Even Notice It's A Lie DETACH Don't Even Think About Changing Him/Her
Don't Even Think About Calling Him/Her EGO Edging God Out
Easing God Out FAILURE Fearful, Arrogant, Insecure, Lonely, Unsure, Resentful, Empty FAITH Facing An Inner Truth Heals
Fantastic Adventures In Trusting Him
Fear Ain't In This Heart
Fear Ain't In This House
Fear And Insecurity? Trust Him!
Feeling Alright and In To Hope
For An Instant, Trust Him FAMILY Father And Mother, I Love You FEAR Face Everything And Recover
Failure Expected And Received
False Evidence Appearing Real
False Expectations Appearing Real
Feelings Every Addict Rejects
Feelings Expressed Allows Relief
Fighting Ego Against Reality
Forget Everything And Run
Forgetting Everything's All Right
Frantic Efforts to Appear Real
Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered
Frustration, Ego, Anxiety, Resentment
F**k Everything And Run FINE Faithful, Involved,kNowledgeable & Experienced
Feeling Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional
Feeling Insecure, Numb & Empty
Frantic, Insane, Nuts & Egotistical
Free, Independent, New & Energetic
F**ked-up, Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional FIRST STEP Finding I Really Surrender To Spiritual Things, Especially Powerlessness FOG Fear Of God GIFT God Is Forever There GIFTS Getting It From The Steps
God's Intentions From The Start GOD Gaurdian Of Druggies
Get Out Devil
Getting Off Drugs
Getting Outta Denial
Gifts Offered Daily
Giving Ourselves Dignity
Go On Dreaming
Good Orderly Decisions
Good Orderly Direction
Got Off Drugs
Group Of Drug addicts GRACE Gently Releasing All Conscious Expectations GREAT Good Realistic Emotional Attitude Today GUILT God Understands, I Lack Trust! GUT God's Undeniable Truths HALT Honestly, Actively, Lovingly Tolerant
Hope, Acceptance, Love & Tolerance
Horny, Arrogant, Lazy & Tragic
Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired HEART Healing, Enjoying, And Recovering Together HELP His Ever Loving Presence
Hope, Encouragement, Love & Patience HOPE Hang On! Peace Exists
Happy Our Program Exists
Hearing Other People's Experience
Heart Open Please Enter
Honest Open Positive Environment HUG Heartwarming Universal Gift KISS Keep It Simple Spiritually LET GO Leave Everything To God, Okay?
Live Everything Today, Grow Outwardly LET GOD Love Everything Today as God Overwhelmingly Does LOVE Living Our Victories Everyday
Lots Of Vibrant Emotions
Lots Of Voluntary Effort N.A. Never Again
Never Alone
New Attitude NEW Nothing Else Worked NOT YET Never Overlook Tripping, You're Eligible Too
Now Or Tomorrow, You're Eligible Too NOW No Other Way NUTS Not Using The Steps OBSESSION Our Brain System Entertaining Sick Secrets Involving Only Negativity OUR Openly Using Recovery PAID Pitiful And Incomprehensible Demoralization PMS Poor Me Syndrome
Pain, Misery and Suffering PRAY Put Recovery Around You PRIDE Personal Recovery Involves Defeating/Deflating Ego PROGRAM People Relying On God Relaying A Message RAGE Real Angry Gut-level Ego RECOVERY Re-living Effectively Concentrating On Valuable Experiences Revealing Yourself RELAPSE Recovery Exits Life And Program Seems Empty RELATIONSHIP Really Exciting Love Affair Turns Into Outrageous Nightmare, Serenity Hangs In Peril s**t Simply How I'm Thinking SLIP So Long, I'm Perfect
Serenity Lost It's Priority
Something Lousy I Planned
Spirituality Loses It's Perspective SOLUTIONS Saving Our Lives Using The Inventory Of the Needed Steps SPONSOR Serene Person Offering Newcomer Suggestions On Recovery STAR Start Talking About Recovery STEPS Solutions To Every Problem Straight
Starting To Experience Personal Serenity STOP Sicker Than Other People TGIF Thank God I'm Free
Today - Go In Faith TIME Things I Must Earn
This I Must Earn TRUST Try Relying Upon Steps & Traditions
Try Relying Upon Steps Today WILLING When I Let go & Let God, I Normally Grow
When I Live & Let Live, I Normally Grow
When I Live Life, I Need God WISDOM When Into Self, Discover Our Motives WORK What Our Recovery Knows WORRY Wrong Or Right, Remain Yourself YES BUT... Your Ego's Showing, Better Use The steps YET You're Eligible Too
You'll End up There
More Slogans -
One Day at a Time / -
More Will Be Revealed -
Just for Today / -
Keep Coming Back -
Do an inventory and introduce yourself to yourself / -
Not everyone in recovery is IN recovery / -
There are no victims, just volunteers -
One’s too many, a thousand is never enough / -
If your ass falls off, pick it up and take it to a meeting / -
Work the steps or die / -
A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind / -
If I don’t change my clean date will / -
Expectations are premeditated resentments -
Anything after “but” is bullsh*t! / -
Depression is anger turned inward / -
The way we perceive things is not necessarily the way they really are / -
What people think of me is none of my business / -
What I don’t like about you may be a reflection on me -
Stand for something or fall for anything / -
Rejection is nothing but God’s purest way of protection / -
There is no Hope in Dope / -
If nothing changes nothing changes / -
If your life is falling apart and your Basic Text isn’t. It is because you’re not reading it. -
Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle happens / -
Know the difference between God and you? God doesn’t walk around all day trying to be you! / -
Humilty isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less / -
Once a cumber goes pickle, it can’t be a cucumber again
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Step !
Posted On 09/07/2009 14:41:21
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We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable Under the lash of alcoholism, we are driven to A.A. and there we discover the fatal nature of our situation. Then, and only then, do we become open-minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be. We stand ready to do anything that will lift the merciless obsession from us.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 24 I believe the delusion of control and power finally breaks down at the point where we are not able to alleviate the stress and our pain thorugh any effort in our repertoire. Evidently what we all want is happiness, yet with all we have accomplished or acquired with our attemps to be in control, many of us reach a place at which we not only cannot control our happiness - even with an addictive substance or behavior - but we cannot control our pain and stress, which has reached an agonizing level. By this time the family may have left; the job may be gone; or one's health may have been destroyed. But we don't have to go this far down. We can see the patterns of powerlessness and go for help. When we begin to realize how we act and feel when no one is around, or in our car alone in traffic, or in line in a store, or when we listen to a political commentator, or in our most intimate relationships in our homes or in our beds, we can look around in our lives and see other signs of powerlessness and unmanageability. In the end it is usually the pain of our compulsions, addictions, and denial and the resulting strained or broken relationships that drive us to the stark awareness of our powerlessness. Unfortunately it may take a tragedy or crisis to break through our delusion of power - a divorce, a family member's addiction, a runaway child, a terminal illness, a bankruptcy, a death.
- A Hunger for Healing, p. 25 When we admit our powerlessness and the inability to manage our own lives, we open the door to recovery. No one could convince us that we were addicts. It is an admission that we had to make for ourselves. When some of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: "Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering chemicals?" Most will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested. Whatever the outcome, we find that we cannot control our using for any length of time. This would clearly suggest that an addict has no control over drugs. Powerlessness means using against our will. If we can't stop, how can we tell ourselves we are in control? The inability to stop using, even with the greatest willpower and the most sincere desire, is what we mean when we say, "We have absolutely no choice".
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 1
Write your favorite slogans in a little piece of paper .Put all them in a small box and take one out every morning.Whereever is the slogan you pick up try to practice for that day to the best of you ability. Some recovery slogans heard around Twelve Step meetings. First Things First Dont Use Not Matter What This too Shall Pass Live and Let Live Let go and let God Time takes time One day at a time Dont Use No Matter What This Too Shall Pass Is your program powered by Will Power or Higher Power? Cultivate an attitude of gratitude Misery is optional God never made no junk Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less Live life on life's terms You can't think your way into a new way of living...you have to live your way into a new way of thinking The key to freedom is in the Steps GOD = Good Orderly Direction HALT = don't get to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired Your worth should never depend on another persons opinion HOW it works = Honesty, Open mindedness, and Willingness SLIP = Sobriety Lost Its Priority Don't pick up, ask for help, call your sponsor, and go to meetings It's a simple program for complicated people The newcomer is the most important person in any meeting Keep coming back, it works if you work it Learn to listen and listen to learn Many meetings, many chances; few meetings, few chances; no meetings, no chances Meeting makers make it People who don't go to meetings don't hear about what happens to people who don't go to meetings To keep what you have, you have to give it away How does it work? It works just fine If you don't want to slip, stay away from slippery places If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got If you sit in the barber's chair long enough, you'll eventually get a haircut Most things can be preserved in alcohol; dignity, however, is not one of them Progress, not perfection Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die think......think.......think Keep it simple This too shall pass Stick with the winners H O P E = Happy Our Program Exists Recovery is a journey ...not a destination To thine own self be true Turn it over Nothing is so bad, a drink won't make it worse Willingness is the key Take what you need and leave the rest If you expect respect, be the first to show some Keep the plug in the jug Do it sober Although we are not responsible for our disease we are responsible for our recovery Hugs not Drugs Just for Today Recovery doesn't happen overnight Pass it on If you want to stay clean, don't use Don't quit before the miracle happens Time takes time Learn to listen and listen to learn Use the 24-hour plan Nobody ever found recovery as a result of an intellectual awakening When all else fails, follow directions Change is a process, not an event Call your sponsor before, not after, you take the first drink Give time time I was sick and tired of being sick and tired You only get out of it what you put into it It's the first drink that gets you drunk An addict alone is in bad company You can only keep what you have by giving it away Take what you can use and leave the rest Recovery begins with the First Step Help is only a phone call away Nothing changes if nothing changes It is possible to change without improving - it is impossible to improve without change Experience, strength and hope not opinions, bulls**t and dope One drink is too many and a thousand not enough Keep coming back An addict cannot be grateful and hateful at the same time Easy does it Easy does it but do it Stick with the winners - Win with the stickers Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm Feelings are not facts Principles before personalities Turn it over, don't turn it off Seven days without a meeting makes one weak Growing old is mandatory - Growing up is optional Slogans are wisdom written in shorthand
Here’s is a character defect list i found over at a forum . I hope it help anybody that is working on the six step. Step 6
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 194 Character Defects
1 Abusing Others for enjoyment
2 Action, failing to take
3 Aloof
4 Anger Anger
5 Antagonistic
6 Anxiety
7 Anxious, overly
8 Apathetic
9 Apologetic, overly
10 Appearances, preoccupied or obsessed with
11 Argumentative
12 Arrogance
13 Avarice
14 Avoiding confrontation
15 Beating yourself up
16 Beauty, obsession or preoccupation with
17 Bigotry
18 Blaming others for disease
19 Blaming self for disease
20 Boastful
21 Boundaries, not setting
22 Busybody
23 Cheating
24 Choosing easy prey, gossip
25 Choosing easy prey, physical
26 Closed-mindedness
27 Codependenc
28 Coldheartedness
29 Communication, avoiding
30 Communication, poor
31 Companions, seeking corrupt / lower
32 Compassion, lack of
33 Competitive, excessively
34 Complaining
35 Conceit
36 Condemning
37 Confrontation, avoiding
38 Controlling
39 Controlling Others
40 Cowardice
41 Critical
42 Crude
43 Deceptive, deceiving
44 Dependency, dependent
45 Dependent on parents
46 Destructive
47 Devious
48 Different, thinking you are
49 Disease, feeling responsible for/taking credit for
50 Disease, making excuses for
51 Disease, not accepting
52 Dishonesty
53 Dishonesty by omission
54 Disorganized
55 Egotistical
56 Envious
57 Exaggeration
58 Excess
59 Faith, lack of faith in God
60 Fanatical
61 Fantasizing
62 Favoritism, playing favorites
63 Fearful
64 Filthy-mindedness
65 Financially dependent on others
66 Financially insecure
67 Following through, failing to
68 Frustration
69 Gluttony
70 Gossiping
71 Greed
72 Guilt, about sexual fantasies
73 Guilt, excessive feelings of
74 Guilt, feeling guilty for things beyond control
75 Harsh
76 Hate
77 Hatred of others
78 Hatred of self
79 Health, irresponsibility with or neglect of
80 Help, refusing/not asking for
81 Hopelessness
82 Ignorance Ignorance
83 Ill wishes toward others
84 Immodesty
85 Impatience
86 Impulsive purchaser
87 Inadequacy, sense of
88 Incompassionate
89 Inconsiderate Inconsiderate
90 Indecisive Indecision 86
91 Indifferent
92 Injustice
93 Insecure in your own skin
94 Insecure in sexuality
95 Insecurity, financial
96 Insensitivity
97 Insincerity Insincere
98 Intolerance Intolerance 99 Intolerance of sick people
100 Inventory, taking other’s
101 Irresponsibility
102 Irresponsibility, financial
103 Irresponsible
104 Isolating
105 Jealousy
106 Judgmental of others
107 Knowing it all
108 Laziness 110 Leering, crude toward Lewd
112 Lifestyles, not accepting others’
113 Love and friendship, refusal to accept
114 Lustful
115 Lying
116 Making excuses for disease
insecure
118 Manipulative
119 Measuring self against others
120 Meddling
121 Messy
122 Miserliness
123 Negative body image
124 Negative Thinking
125 Negatives, focusing on or magnifying
126 Neglectful
127 Opinionated
128 Opinions, not respecting others’
129 Overcompensating for projected wrongs
130 Overcompensating for weaknesses
131 Perfectionism
132 Pessimism
133 Physical appearance, obsession or preoccupation with
134 Physical health, neglect of
135 Playing God
136 Playing God with self
137 Positives, not looking at
138 Possessive
139 Preachy
140 Prejudice
141 Pride, False
142 Pride, Intellectual
143 Pride, Spiritual
144 Procrastination
145 Program, working other’s
146 Psychoanalysis of others
147 Reckless
148 Remorseful
149 Resentment
150 Revenge, vengefulness
151 Rude
152 Sarcastic
153 Secretive
154 Seeking attention
155 Seeking negative attention
156 Self Condemnation
157 Self Deprecating humor
158 Self Importance
159 Self Justification
160 Self Pity
161 Self reliance
162 Self Seeking
163 Self, putting self on pedestal
164 Self-absorbed
165 Self-centeredness Self-centeredness
166 Self-hatred
167 Self-indulgence
168 Selfishness Selfish 169 Self-loathing
170 Setting expectations
171 Sex, hidden
172 Sex, lack of appreciation for
173 Skeptical
174 Sloth
175 Stealing Stealing 68
176 Step on others to get to top
177 Stewardship of assets, poor
178 Suspicious
179 Thoughtless
180 Thrill-seeking
181 Uncharitableness
182 Uncleanness
183 Undependable
184 Undisciplined
185 Unfaithful
186 Ungrateful
187 Uniqueness, terminal
188 Unreliable
189 Untrustworthy
190 Valuing the opinion of a sick mind
191 Vengeful
192 Vulgar Immoral Thinking
193 Wasteful
194 Worry
A letter from your addiction
Someone read this in a NA meeting last night .I want to share with everyone. Quote: Dear Friend,
I've come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally physically spiritually and socially. I want to have you restless so you can never relax. I want you jumpy and nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be depressed and confused so that you can't think clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody-especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all and I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can't sleep without me; I'm even in your dreams.
I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you black out. I would rather kill you, but I'll be happy enough if I can put you back in the hospital, another institution or jail. But you know that I'll still be waiting for you when you come out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage that I'm causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckly when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, when you wake up with your sheets and blankets soaking wet.
It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs while at the same time, work on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me.
The countless good jobs you have sacrificed for me. All the fine friends that you deeply cared for-you gave them up for me. And what's more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions-I am more than grateful.
And especially your loved ones, your family, and the most important people in the world to you. You even threw them away for me. I cannot express in words the gratitiude I have for the loayalty you have for me. You sacrificed all these beautiful things in your life just to devote yourself completely to me. But do not despair my friend, for on me you can always depend. For after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in living hell, to keep your mind, body and soul. FOR I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD, MY FRIEND.
Faithfully yours,
Your addiction
Dear Marce:
I am so glad that you found me. I don't know how you did it, the only thing that matters is that you did. When we first started our love affair three years ago you felt distant and a little bit scared. When you finally put your complete and total trust in me, is when I had you by the heart and made you a slave to me. I knew you loved me very much because you devoted all your time, spare or not, to me. I can remember all the late nights and early mornings that we spent alone, just you and me. I can remember all the times I woke you up in the middle of the night to be with me,not able to go back to sleep until I complied.I can remember all the mornings I woke you up in so much pain,your legs throbbing so bad you couldn't put any weight on them. You vomitting up in the trash can you had beside the bed just for that occassion. I had you screaming out for me to come to the rescue, but I couldn't quite reach you because I'm not for free. But to no avail you would always find a way to find me. I had you lying, cheating, and stealing for me. Boy was I special! I can remember all the money I stole from your family and friends but you really loved me more and protected our relationship at any cost. I can remember all the hard earned money you spent, just so you could go to work. I can remember all the lies I made you tell your family about who or where you were because you felt guilty and ashamed. Remember when you thought you were hurting me by cheating on me with the zanax and valium? It didn't hurt, as a matter of fact, I thought it was funny because I knew you'd come crawling back. I was right. See, the truth is, I really don't give a s**t about you, but I had you believing that I did. You were a puppet and me the puppeteer. How does it make you feel that I single handedly tore you apart, and messed your whole life up! I must be a powerful and wonderful thing to control you that way I have. Now, I understand you are going into treatment where I've sent you. I'm betting against you and your will power, because, you see I'm not finished with you yet! You see, I'm really not your friend, your partner or your confidant and lover. I really don't care if you succeed or are able to raise your children and function normally in society. I don't care how many rehabs you hide in, or if you spend the rest of your life in prison or a mental institution.
The only way I will be truly happy is when I have killed you!
Forever yours,
HEROIN
Dear HEROIN,
I realize you think that I love you and you think that I will never ever leave you. Well, your wrong. Dead wrong. I remember how you messed up my whole life. You made me lie, cheat and steal from my friends and family. You made me feel ashamed of myself. How you took my soul. Well it's over I have a new friend and her name is RECOVERY. She will keep you away from me. You will not enter my mind. I have erased you from my mind. I only focus on RECOVERY. She is my friend, my confidant, and my protector now. You are evil. I hate you. I will think of you from time to time but I am free of you forever. You will never take my soul again. Marce.
 
IF YOU HAS A LITTLE STRUGGLE ON ENJOYING LIFE WITH OUT A DRUG OR A DRINK I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT "THIS TOO SHALL PASS AND THAT ......................... &nb sp; ITS OKAY TO LAUGH CLEAN AND SOBER A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, "Quick! Pour me twelve drinks."
So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another.
The bartender says to the guy, "Boy you're drinking those drinks really fast."
The guys says, "Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I've got."
The bartender says, "What've you got?"
The guy says, "75 cents." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>> Going Home A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
"Argh," he said in frustration, thinking, "I'll just crawl home."
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.
"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.
"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"
"You left your wheelchair at the bar again. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ &nb sp; WE ARE ALCOHOLICS wo drunks are driving down the highway drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car's lights flashing in the rear view mirror. "What are we going to do?" asks the drunk passenger. "Don't worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your bottle and stick it to your forehead. Let me do all the talking." They pull over and the cop gets out. "May I see your license and registration?" he asks. The guy gives him his license. "Have you been drinking?" "No officer. We haven't." "Well, you were weaving back and forth. Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink?" The officer asked. "I swear officer. I haven't had a sip." "Well why do you have beer labels on your foreheads?" The man answers, "These aren't labels. We are alcoholics, and we're on the patch." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Tags: Happy
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