Hi family, I know its been a while since I have been around here. So I will fill you in, if want to know what I have been doing. Life has just been keeping me busy & away from my home office where this computer is kept! Recovery has been keeping me busy. Work has been keeping me getting paid. My daughter graduated high school in May & shortly there after she moved out & in with her boyfriend, whom we adore! She just started college last week. How blessed we are that we are able to financially help her with that, we have suffered college loans of our own & if possible would like to shelter her from those !! lol  My husband & I celebrated 4 years of recovery/clean time in July within days of each other & that might be the 1 thing I have managed in 20 years to get ahead of him in !!! He has just completed a 16 week course for his real estate licence in 5 weeks & is awaiting notification to take the state exam. I have taken a leap back to school myself & have enrolled in some that classes that will benefit me currently at my job & some that I can take with me in whatever field I find myself in down the road. Computer classes mainly, business management, & food & beverage/hospitality. My older sister is staying with me & has 93 days clean !! She kids around that she is staying in the "Champion Rehab". It is so so so cool to have my sister back in my life again & sort of like a refresher course for me to watch her grow, & struggle, & seek recovery with the vengence of someone desperate to live !! She has been in & out a few times now so she knows the miracle of recovery & the program. I have also had lots of sponsee/sponsor time to work through/with & for that I am always grateful! I havent forgotten about this miracle of people & friends here at this site - I just have to keep doing the next right thing & trust & have faith that everything is happening just as it is supposed to. I recently read a book that said life is always changing; we are always changing. We live in a river of change & a river of change lives within us. Every day we are given a choice: We can relax & float in the direction that the water flows, or we can swim hard against it. If we go with the river, the energy of a thousand mountain streams will be with us, filling our hearts with courage & enthusiasm. If we resist the river, we will feel rankled & tired as we tread water, stuck in the same place. So I have been flowing with the river - not against it.

...peace, shannon

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Hi Family, I had to go back to Tampa on Feb 15th. My father was very sick. I was just out there in January at his request to go over his living will and what he wanted done in case anything happened to him. I was honored that my father had regained so much trust in me to ask that - I have the program & my recovery to thank for that. I just didnt expecct that so soon I would be doing anything about it. My father had a "simple" procedure done Jan 20th that was anything but "simple" and after that if it could go wrong it went very wrong. He had spent 3 and 1/2 weeks in ICU & wasnt geting any better. I got the call & went back out to Florida last Sunday. My dad passed away Wednesday Feb 18th  and I was with him, holding on to him & talking to him til the very end. My heart & spirit hurt so much but I did what my dad had asked me to do. I am truly so grateful that my recovery had helped us repair our relationship & grow so much closer over the last few years. I made amends to my dad a couple of years ago & I have no regrets. I did not walk away from my dad & feel like I still had things to say. I knew how much he loved me & I know he knew how much I loved him. He told me that no matter what I ever did he always loved me & as a parent myself I know that is true. My faith & acceptance of God's will that I have learned thru NA has been such a comfort for me. I will miss the "old man" always & am grateful that I dont have to look back with questions, what if's, if only's. I can look at this with love & gratitude that my dad was proud of me & that we left nothing out there to regret. My dad was always there for me & it was an honor that I finally got to be there for him.

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Well almost !!! I am a little far from normal but the holidays make me a lil crazier than usual. The job kept me very very busy this month. I was scrambling to squeeze in my everyday things plus shopping, planning get togethers, returning calls, etc.... my workouts got few & far between til I havent been in a week, I am not sure what we've been eating besides junk food but the budget indicates very little else. Through all of this I havent missed calls to my sponsor or return calls to sponsees, I was only short a couple of meetings - anything short of 3 a week & I feel it - more is always better. My family all came to my house for Christmas on Christmas Eve & when I told everyone that the festivites start at 8:30pm because I was going to a meeting first they didnt complain that it was too late to start!!! I havent had much time to myself - so tonight the house is empty & quiet....deep breath/big sigh !!! No telephones ringing, no tv's, I threw the dogs out back & I'll probably eat cereal for dinner. When I first got clean I had to learn the difference between isolating & learning to enjoy being alone with myself. Tonight I am enjoying the solitude. I have my NA literture out & need to catch up on some my treasurer responsibilities. I am so grateful that I have a program today that helps me find balance in my life & that I know today what balance actually is !! I am also grateful for all my recovery friends that I have here at this site - this place is truly a blessing for me.

Love to all w/peace & serenity.....shannon

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well I got through our lil family 'crisis' without totally blowing a gasket, acting like a idiot or crying til my face turned red & my eyes swelled up!!! i just need to remember that i am really not in charge, that i have to let my HP do his work & have faith that everything happens the way it does for a reason. i was sad for chelsea & tommy and as much as i would like to keep them from pain & harm there are just some things that i cant change. my daughter is smart & strong, i will be there for her when she needs me. tommy will also find his way. i am very grateful for the support & encouragement i receive here at this site from all my new friends ... i've said before this site is like hugs after a meeting.

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one of the kids in my life is sitting in jail right now for possession & dui. i am sad - my daughter says he needs help mom. i say he has to ask for it i cant make him get it. she says help me mom - i said just come home, you've had to live with parents for high for 15 years, are you willing to do this with him? she says no i am not willing. i said just come home ched & lets talk. so now i am waiting for my kid to come home & see her heartbroken from the disease of addiction again - 1st from mine & her fathers & now from tommys. i want so much for her but not anymore of this kind of stuff. i pray for her strength, i pray for him also....we have all suffered....i am grateful for recovery today, i will stay clean.

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Got some !! Ever so grateful to NA, my HP, my sponsor, my life, family, & friends. h*ll? right now I am even grateful to be an addict. I went to a awesome meeting tonite. Afterward several of us went out to dinner & I am grateful for the fellowship we share when we get together after the meetings. For some reason I've had the feeling of serenity & gratitude with me all day - its so peaceful to feel this way. Just wanted to share that with everyone. 

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Okay - I joined a new home group about 2 months ago. So I show up at this group & was luke-warmly welcomed. There was alot of drug court people in there but I looked hard for the recovery. I found it. I stayed. Love the group. The former treasurer has robbed the group and quit coming to meetings! Personally I want to act out on old behavior & choke the s**t out of the bitch! When confronted with the theft outside of the meeting - she wont own her s**t. puts it back on the group & then claims she just borrowed without asking & was going to put it back til someone started asking about the money (me) and she needed it for her kid. Okay - I am calling BULLSHIT. Borrowing without asking is STEALING!! The books/accounting records are pathetic at best and at group conscience some said let it go - maybe, she needed the money, blah blah blah. I said she needs to be held accountable & they say shes mean & scary just let it go. I say if she was remorseful & willing to pay back the group & make amends then okay but it doesnt seem that she is willing to do this. Realistically I know I am not really going to choke the s**t out of her other than in my mind but the thought does feel good. I am not surprised by the situation but I am surprised that some think it okay to turn a blind eye. I am all about forgiving but I am really having a hard time with this.  I have read the bulletin on na.org in regards to this type of thing happening & will prob read it again. So - I think today I am working on expectations & acceptance - any thoughts on all this from anyone?

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Hi everyone - its been a few days since I have had the energy to get in here to the office & get online. This has been one of those weeks that all I have had time to do is work & go to meetings. I have a few spare minutes this morning & thought a little online recovery would be a good way to start the day. My daughter will turn 18 years old tomorrow & all she wants is for us to take her to get her 1st tattoo ! We are - but cant get in til Tuesday. I am so grateful to be clean today - I am able to remember her birthday & not be scrambling around trying to throw some s**t together to make it look like I had everything under control & planned for her !!! Despite her parents she is a great kid. Smart, good grades, works, no tickets/no trouble, college plans, & beautiful, with an attitude to match her mothers!!! So other than spend some time w/the family this weekend, I've got group conscience at my home group & that usually proves to be interesting...then I will rest.....hope everyone is well & have a happy halloween......shannon

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