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Well I can't believe I relapsed after almost 6 years clean. But then that is why I relapsed...I forgot about being powerless...forgot about meetings....barely hung on to my sponsor. I am asking all of you to PRAY for me...PRAY that I can stay clean, PRAY I keep my job. I have so much gratitude for my husband and children.
I am switching over to "In the Rooms". I hope to see you there.
Well I am still around, even though I have not posted here in over a year! I am still clean, by the grace of my Higher Power. I went to my home group tonight. It is a small group. I got what I needed. I am so grateful that this site is still here!
Hello Cyber Family I deleted the last entry. It just did feel very spiritual. I am striving towards spiritual growth. I had some great comments from my cyber friends and I had time to pause and reflect. Yes, vindication is a character defect of mine, but I dont' have to act on it today. I feel more spiritually centered when I don't. I have had a good day today. I thank all of you for being here. Life is good!
I worked at my part time job today. It is a 10 bed detox unit. I said to my partner, can you believe that the year 2009 is marching on. It will be Christmas before we know it! As a matter of fact, I have already ordered my Christmas cards. My husband has often said that he lost his "day stretcher". What is a day stretcher? Remember back when we were children and the days and months lasted so long? Summers were my favorite time of the year...not just because we were out of school, but because it was such a special time that seemed to last and last. I loved spending days down by the river where I grew up or down at the coast. Remember how LONG it took for our birthday and Christmas to get here when we were kids? That is because as children, we had a DAY STRETCHER. The days lasted forever. As we grow older, we lose our day stretcher and time seems to pass much more quickly. Thank God I have learned how to appreciate each day, when I take time to do that. Thank you all for being here. I am grateful to be clean today. I am grateful for the wonderful opportunity I had with my children tonight. We spend the evening at the movies. I love laughing with them. That is priceless.
Tags: The Year Is Going By So Fast
Hello everyone First of all, I want to say that for part of the month, I have been on vacation...a physical vacation. My husband and I took the kids to Disneyworld midApril. This was their spring break. It was lots of fun and lots of work but it was worth it! Second of all, I have been in a wierd head space. I have a negative attitude. I have a co-worker I can't stand. Our work styles are totally different. I actually have empathy for my patients. Her work style is manic. She charges right in on them no matter what physical state they are in. They can be completely intoxicated or in some stage of acute withdrawal and she does'nt care. She is going to get what she has to do done! I take a little more laid back approach. We have 24 hours to complete a physical. Let the person rest, sleep it off. I will come back in the afternoon. I am getting to the point at times where I cant' stand the sight of this person. I gotta figure out how to accept her because I am not going anywhere and neither is she. I absolutely love my job and I know I make a difference in the lives of people. Does anyone have any suggestions? I did take some time out for ME today. It was the first time I had done that in a looong time. I went to Barnes and Nobles, bought a frap, sat and read some excerpts from a book called "An Attitude of Gratitude" and decided, ok, girl you need to have an attitude of gratitude no matter what! And I did a little Barnes and Nobles retail therapy and viola! I feel better. I am just going to write out the 4th step prayer for this chick and say it every 5 minutes. How does that sound??? Y'all pray for me. Pray to the Great Spirit! Hugs! The Phoenix
I went to an NA meeting tonight. I usually go on Sunday and Monday nights. This is my home group meeting. The JFT reading talked about the 4th step. It was a little tap on the shoulder from HP. I gotta get busy on mine!
I am just overwhelmed with all of the love and support I have received from the members of this community. I am taking a few minutes of quiet time before I start my day at work. Ordinarily I would be up running around at a frantic pace, but my colleague is off today, so I can set the pace of my day. To be honest, I could set the pace of my day when she is here if I did not let what she thinks of me bother me. But then, it has been said, what she thinks of me is really none of my business! Anyway, I do have a lot to do this morning. I am grateful I stopped by. I read my JFT meditation. I read a motivational reading for Weight Watchers. (Yes, I am doing Weight Watchers. Food was my first addiction. THAT is a tiger I have to take out on a daily basis and walk!) I can do this...just like I got clean...One Day at a Time.
I am at my desk...taking a few minutes from my day to get centered. It really amazes me how much smoother my day goes when I take even 5 or 10 minutes...read my meditation...reflect. I get centered. Today's Just for Today (hereafter referred to as JFT) topic talked about "The Process". I have spent so much energy fighting the process. It is so much easier to go with the flow. As I gain insight into myself, trust my Higher Power, I can accept myself, and I can accept others. (Like collegues who have a completely different work style, for example!) I have so much gratitude today.
Tags: Or Taking Just A Little Time Out For Me
My children and I saw a Disney movie called "Meet the Robinsons". I can' t remember exactly WHEN we saw it, but I know it was around the time when it was first shown in theatres. One recurrent theme throughout the movie..."Keep moving forward". I think that was a quote by Walt Disney. My daughter loves Walt Disney. Both my kids do, actually. (So does my inner child). My daughter and Walt share the same birthday...December 5. Anyway, the point of all this rambling is to say, that I have been reading over my past blogs, handwritten journal entries, ecterea ectera, and all I seem to do is promise myself to do this or that, and then I don't do it. Sometimes I have difficulty telling the difference between procrastination and being hard on myself, but HONESTLY, I have been doing every thing but putting recovery FIRST. WE ALL KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS. So, now, I just want to keep moving forward. I made a meeting last night. I talked to my sponsor. I AM WRITING IN MY BLOG. Today's Just for Today meditation talked about relapse. Thank you HP for the reminder. By the grace of my HP, I am still clean today. To this blogging community, I want to thank you all for your love, support and your patience!
Tags: Meet The Robinsons Revisted
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