Dear God,

Please let things work out.  It's not that I question your reason or strength, but I do question my own.  You've given me so many gifted experiences and qualities that have, without a doubt, enabled and prepared me for this moment in my existence.  But then, you gave this overly sensitive, exploding heart and a weak will.

I'm so tired of overcompensating for these innate weaknesses, just trying to hide them from the world.  Now, I would like to break the shackles of guilt and shame disabling the true me.

Please illuminate the path to purity and bravery.

Let me live with purpose and never be ashamed.

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Forgotten depths forget again 

forget again 

go deeper.  

nights, aching 

iforget iforget.

remind me 

running down the street

so fast  

remind me how to feel

damnit 

i forget i just forget.

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for all of you.  I now understand what accountability is.  I hope all of you, as my new friends, will soon be very proud of me.  Today, I could not have done it without you all and your selfless kind hearts.  I never knew how much I would struggle with this decision.  I knew for a long time I didn't want to face the fact that I have a serious problem...a disease.  From the bottom of a very big heart, I love you all and care.  You prayers have helped so much... Tonight you will all be in my prayers. 

Much Love, 

Nola

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Please pray for me.  I have not been doing well, in every sense of the word.  Somehow, I've lost my way, but I still dream of the day I'll be well.  Please, I need your encouragement to get through the day.  I know I don't really know any of you, but I'm dying and killing myself out here.

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