Went to my step book this morning to read and study step ten .

My Hubby and I have been tangling a lot lately and I have to brush up

my daily inventory....

" Every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something

wrong with us"  I haven't been listening well to him lately- and I certainly

have been impatient-finishing sentances and interrupting...my acceptance&

forgiveness has been lagging and I need to get to work on all of it!

   On the positive side we have been trying to take some time each week

to do some things together that are not work related...we get so caught up

with weekends being the only time we have for unfinished projects !

I even have a hard time letting him just sit in his recliner and listen to music

WHEW- what a mess...

Tags: Recoverylifesobriety

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I was pleasantly surprised how smoothly this community managed voting...

Not that we are large or urban!

  I wonder about apathy- although there seemed to be little, yesterday,

comparatively speaking. ( 80% turn out in a lot of places-)

Voting, a right and a privilege- 'Civic duty' as my dad used to say.

I am grateful to have a voice in sobriety-

Tags: Soberliving

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  Something Dennis just said- writing in his blog- brought me around a

corner,which is great! Thanks-

...Wind and ADJUSTING sails-

Back when-( pre alcohol abuse-) I spent amazing amounts of time outdoors.

There was wonder, joy, respect, awe-

   As an energetic being, often sent out/away "Go amuse yourself" the world,

from city parks, to farms, mountains, water, beaches, gardens- became play

grounds... Sometimes solitary, sometimes not.

  Interacting with all the wonders you encounter out there-you find out a lot of

things about natural forces. How they operate and the effects on people,

animals.You learn to watch and listen. You learn about choices. Rock, water,

earth, wind-you find out what you can control and what you cannot...

  So much later, when I came into the rooms it was not hard to find a "Power

greater than self"  Nature is certainly that... And can be a wonderous

springboard for faith !

  Dennis added a dimesion: of 'Harnessing' wind- maybe sails turned-

will bring us to new places-at a speed more in keeping with our

Higher power ?

Tags: Lifelessons Sobriety

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   Had an interesting series of conversations over the past monthes with a

number of sober folk. Surrounding the subject of adult qualities and

becoming a mature grown up.....

   Then I picked up a copy of our FYI this month and found a piece on

' Traits and qualities' of/for 'well adjusted, mature people'.

these include :Sincerity: 'Cards face up', no sham or pretense, real all the

way through.

   Personal integrity: decency, honesty,loyalty, fair play and honor.

Humility : modesty  and for me: ability to see the truth....

Courtesy: tolerance respect- allowing you to be you and speak your piece.

Wisdom  ability to make the right choice and act on it....

Charity  capacity to love, acceptance of personal weaknesses, forgiveness.

This is rough paraphrasing- please feel free to add on ideas -flesh out with

 suggestions !

Tags: Recovery Life

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   Yesterday I had a nice spontaneous hour, as a result of going to pick up

bales of hay from the big barn, for my ponies.

   A friend has invested considerable time and energy to developing a huge

meditative 'maze' in her field-labyrinth-

   Apparently it is at an energy intersection.Earth spirits and rocks, raise up

here and have healing properties for those of us who want to balance our

chakras.

   I had thought to walk it before, but wanted to take time to enjoy it.

So, being a beautiful fall afternoon- I decided to join her out there and

we walked it together. Not fast, or slow- stopping whenever we wanted.

  This is my sort of meditation. All of me involved and participating.

I would have preferred to do it barefoot- but it was a little cool for that-

Next year!

   When we arrived at the center a huge rock was waiting. Always a hands on

person  I immediately began to explore. I found many niches and some

warm places . It a subtle and lemony energy- with a delicate and lighthearted

almost 'humor'... Just the sort I could appreciate. She refers to it as a femine

or 'Mother' stone. I came away with satisfaction. We walked back out in the

same fashion. She described the various wild life that she has seen on the

pathes. Even her old grey horse walks here, nibbling as she goes.

Sometime maybe I will go by flashlight too- or even under a full moon-

Tags: Recovery Life

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Well, sometimes we drag our feet- sometimes it feels like we are walking in

circles...when in reality we are walking spirals.

I got locked into a vision of the only way to repair a story, was by computer.

Maybe that is because everyone you talk to does 'stuff' on computers-BUT-

I could not get past 'the revolving door'.

It felt like a trap, a no win situation.

I reached out for yet another set of hands, (that specialize in my sort of story.)

I took the work over to them yesterday and it is going to be retyped.

after all the work to get it into a computer it is being redone.

And not very cheaply. Still, I am letting go !

I believe somehow this will unify and ease my forward progress-

Faith, because I want to move beyond where I am...

Trust, that somehow this will turn the cogs- even keep them moving

more evenly ....I pray...

Tags: Recovery Life

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   We we're shopping for our home group supplies yesterday and  as we are checking, out my friend gets tapped on the shoulder by a teen she hasn't seen at our meeting in a few monthes.

" How are you ?"

"Homeless"

  I'm loading the cart while the youngster (who is there with another lady my friend didn't know)  speak briefly and the teen agrees to call.

" I offered my floor to her."( She lives with 2 cats in an efficiency.)

"You did?"

" I felt it was better than nothing"

   I'm impressed. As we go on to the church we talk over the local

sober programs. 2local halfway houses are not very strict or structured.

   I flash back to being a sullen, angry, teen who slept on alot of

couches until I got a job and then little efficiency of my own.

What had it 'taken'? Motivation and passion....I eventually went on to school but that was after at least a year of' wondering and wandering.'

I had to get my feet wet in the' world at large'- My boyfriend worked

full time summer and part time in winter. I rattled around, bouncing off

jobs trying to find my niche- I loved farm work. animals, outdoors.

I needed the physical expenditure and room to breath, as it were...

  I also needed a " Good, Orderly, Direction." which took time and

effort....

   So my friend and I decided we would see how this teen responded-

how much effort and motivation she has. Will she call ?

We both agreed: we will reach out, to help- testing the fabric of her

willingness, and praying for guidance, as we go...

Tags: Recovery Life

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   Went to my home group meeting yesterday and it proved to be a great

one for lessons... Contrast of what can happen as we move along on the road

of sobriety.

   The first wonder occurred at the beginning where we give out coins on

Friday up to 18 monthes. One of our members humbly took a 24 hour coin.

   One of our younger members chaired the speaker meeting and introduced

his sponcer, who had travelled from a nearby state to share.

   The fellow began by sharing the present state of his sobriety which is tightly

interwoven with program and his business. He went on to share how specific

parts of the big book and step book help him : to stay engaged in our

fellowship and on top of his worries in this economy-( 10, 11,12)

  He cited the prayers, (one being step 11 p. 99 St. Francis) and steps he had

to keep working daily- and that he had a particular meditation and prayer

schedule which helped him stay on the beam of peace, unselfishness and

serenity.

   He shared the analogy of sitting toward the center of his home groups

'wagon' as opposed to the edge where he might get  jostled off.

   After he finished sharing people spoke and shared what they identified

with. The fellow who had taken a 24 hour coin simply thanked him, stating

he had been sitting too far from the 'center' and after 27 years had bounced

off... Thank Heaven he knew where the door was and was able to come walking

back right in ! The calm and humble way he presented his experience

was a testament to our Program and Fellowship. I shook both their hands

afterwards, as they stood talking.

Tags: Sobriety Programlife

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   Been reading up on the early stories- first edition- and exploring some of the

interesting people (like Emmet Fox, and others) who influenced  early

development of spiritual growth of AA.

check out :www.barefootsworld.net/aahistory.html

a list of great reading! Nia

Tags: Recovery

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