So, i wrote about the possibility of my 14 years old seeing his dad after 4 years. Well, it didin;t happen. This disease took him back. It's a relief and a frustration. Relief because we have been doing ok without the choas he brings. Frustrated because I am doing it and why can't he?
The kid will be ok0that's the good part. We will make it through despite the disease. To the alcoholic that still suffers-sending prayers.
Tags: Sad
what're we doing for the holidays? hmmmmmm
well, we were planning on going over to my folks. they do a real tree and spoil the grandkids pretty good. my sister had a baby a couple of days ago and even though she will get all the attention(notice any sibling rivalry?) that was not enough to keep me away.
Then i got a phonecall from my ex-in-laws........
my son's other grandparents are in the program. they are friendly enough and not really all that family oriented. I have maintained contact throughout the years because that's what I do-stay in touch with people.
Anyway....
they realized that they missed their grandson's birthday which was over 2 months ago. they want to combine his birthday present with christma and just wanted to let us know.
stupid me(or too trusting me) tells them to go ahead and wait to just give it to him when we are over there. now i am going to tell you why i am having second thoughts about that.
The grandpa then proceeds to tell me that both his sons are doing great. the oldest isn't in prison!!!!!!! he is 90 days sober and has a good sponsor over in idaho. the ex is also clean and has finished 60 days inpatient and is currently living next to the treatment center for $100 a month and can stay there for up to a year. the grandpa says that he keeps asking the ex if he has called me yet and, of course, he hasn't-because he is worried about having to pay all the back child support or some lame excuse like that.
I knew that this day would eventually come.
it'll be 4 years on christmas day since he has seen our son.
so now what? i would love to avoid this whole scene altogether. the chances of the ex showing up are pretty good if he is clean. he can be the great dad by showing up with a nice present after all this time. Our son has some issues that we have worked on as best as possible from our end --with love, support, and lots of counseling. there is a lot of anger and some abandonment stuff wrapped up in not seeing his dad.
some feedback please-i am missing that piece of mind that i usually have.
gt
Tags: Reflective
Made it through another incredible concert SOBER. It is so nice to go to a show and remember each song, the people, and be able to really feel the music. I had goosebumps from head-to-toe and thoroughly enjoyed every minute (yes, tom, even when you returned the favor of pouring water down my shirt). Going to shows with friends from the program is one of the many outstanding pleasures this new life has presented me. Love you all-gt
Tags: Serene
