The past few days I've been getting a lot of text mesages from my friend asking 'whats up? how are you? lets hang out' and all i answer back is 'nothing, im fine, im buisy' you know trying to drop him.
well, i dont know if that was such a great idea..

Today we had no school becuase it wsa -30F, so he texted me around noon asking to hang out, and I told him i couldn't becuae I was already with my other friend Jessi, which i was with her. we went out to eat.
Then later tonight i went to my boyfriends house so i could use his computer for a school project, everything was going really well when i got a call from my best friend, he asked if i hurd the news, and i said.. well no, what are you talking about? and he said dustin died tonight, he over dosed.
and i have never met dustin, hes just a huge drug dealer that everyone knows and my best friend ran away to his house nd dustin introduced him to cocain. so obviously i didnt really like him too much.
But when my friend told me, i just said "aww im sorry, but i guess thats what happens when you abuse drugs you know" and that just SET HIM OFF.
He was soo mad at me, he was talking soo loud that my boyfriend hurd every single word he said.
well, he hung up on me and sent me this text message, and i quote, "wow becky F**k off, u dont understand s**t about drugs or anything and latley youve been a BI**H so suck a cock. i know that you dont like me right now but wen one of my best friends die the least you could do is show  a little F***ing emotion. F**k you"
..yeahh. so then i texted him back and told him to call me.
so he calls me...
and he yelled at me for saying what i said and i just said, 'sorry i didnt know him but its the truth, wen you abuse drugs, youll od. truth hurts but danile is what'll kill you, you have to understand that.
and he said
well! my best F***ing friend died, your a BI**H how could you show no sympathy! i cant belive you! that was a BI**H move! your unbeliveable! and why havent we been talking lately?! i try to hang out with you, iv been texting you and calling you and talking to you and i cant get anything out of you!
and i said
im sorry he died, but i just said the truth, that..is..what..happens..when..you..abuse..drugs..and as for not talking to you, i just realized that theres nothing i can do to stop you from doing drugs, so why try anymore? you know i mean i tryed, but whatever, and you and i both know you only hung out with dustin when he had drugs for you. are you sure thats a best friend?
and he just said
I CANT BELIVE YOU! YOU DONT KNOW HIM! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT! SUCK A DICK BECKY YOUR WORTHLESS AND YOU SAY YOUR TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND FOR ME?!!? YEAH RIGHT! YOUR THE WORST FRIEND IV EVER HAD! YOU DONT CARE AT ALL, YOUR MAKING THINGS WORSE, I GO TO YOU BEUCASE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE THERE FOR ME WHEN ONE OF MY FRIEDNS DIE AND THAT ALL YOU SAY!!!!
well i just said,
NOW you come to me for support? NOW you do? now that YOU want to talk about how one of your friends OVER DOSED i'm supposed to drop everything and talk to you about it? why dont you talk to one of your other friends?
and hes like
WAY TO LEAD ME ON I THOUGHT WE WERE STILL FRIENDS AND YOUR JUST BLOWING ME OFF IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE TELL ME
and imlike
i dont want to be assosiated with someone like that, i wasnt leading you on, leading you on would be calling you and telling you i want to hang out and then ditching out or something like that, i dont know what to say to you, i miss the old you.
and with that he hung up.

now i just posted  blog on myspace and its the lyrics from weezer, we are all on drugs.
i love that song.
and he commented it saying i have no respect for dustin and he said "becky you BETTER have respect for dustin"
sounds kind of like  a threat?

now i tryed to call him and he hs his phone turned off,
and i JUST got off the phone with him he turned it back on,
by the way, he deleted me off myspce but goes on our friends to look at mine.
so i sid, "just so you know i have respect for him, whatever, but i still stick to what i sid ebcuase its the truth and if you wnt to talk about any of this, you can call me, no more of this online or texting stuff okay?"
and he hung up on me.

i think hes starting to maybe realize what could happen to him, he just hung out with dustin yesterday and today hes dead.
and my friend said "ITS NOT LIKE I OD OR ANYTHING!"
and he forgot that i know he has twice, he just threw up a lot and got really really really sick for days.
nd i told him about that and he  hung up on me.

if this isnt a wake up call, i dont know what is.

Tags: Depressed

2 comments View Entry

I don't have an adiction, no. But my best friend who is my brother to me, my best friend of about 5 years, we used to be inseperatable, he came with my on my family vacations, he knows everything about me, and I know everything about him. We had so much trust in eachother, we would even finish eachothers sentences. Him and I always chose eachother over our boyfriends or girlfriends. He was the best friend ANYONE could ask for.

Well, he has been addicted to popping pills for about the past... 7 months or so. He's been smoking a lot of marajuana as well. At first I thought nothing of it, a lot of my friends do all that, and he was only doing it ocasionlly. He always knew when to stop and he knew his limit.

He knows I don't smoke, and I have had my past with marajuana and every other drug in my family, he knows  how against doing drugs I am. And eventually we really became very distant, he started to lie to me, ditch out on our plans, and for the very few times we did hang out, he was always high. I got really annoyed with it and I finally told him how I felt about all of it. I got the most unexpected reply. He was just flipping out on me, telling me it's his life, he can do what he wants, just becuase I don't do it, doesn't mean he can't do it, it's fun, he lives for the present, it makes him feel good, it makes him feel like all his problems are gone. All of that stuff, so I let him cool down for a while and I talked to him agian a few weeks later, he was still mad at me! I was completly shocked. So I was really irritated, and I told him how our friendship is going nowhere, we are drifting apart, hes picking drugs over me... he saw no problem in this whatsoever. I was really depressed for a long time, all he and I did was fight constantly, just even about stupid little things too.

We really blew up at eachother a lot, and I finally just had enough, he pushed me over the edge and I told him the truth, I told him what he didn't want to hear: 'The people you hang out with aren't your so called 'friends' their the people who will only talk to you if you have what they want. You've lost all your close friends, you've lost me, your pay checks go to your drugs, your free time goes to your drugs, your getting straight F's in school, your on the verge of being fired from your $11.00 an hour paying job, your 16 and look where you are in life... NO WHERE.'
Obviously, he didn't want to hear any of that. So he said some pretty horrible things back that I never thought he would have ever said to me, but I know it wasn't the same him. It was someone else talking, not my best friend.
So, that night, he went out with some of his buddies and he accedentally over dosed on oxys and vallium and all these other kinds of pills I have no idea what their names are but he came home that night and was throwing up in his bathroom when his mother came in and his pill bottle fell out of his pocket. He started crying and came clean about everything with his mother, his father is the head drug cop of Milwaukee, so you can imgin how imberrised, and dissapointed his parents were in him.
So they sent him to rehab, that didn't quite work out beucase he didn't care what they said he only went becuase his parents forced him to.
He now gets random drug tests and his locker and car searched at school all the time.

He still lies to me daily. He tells me to my face that he hasn't smoked or taken any pills in weeks, and then that same day I'll ask someone he hangs out with and they tell me he just did it the night before. When I go back to him and ask him about it he tells me the truth.
He tells me that he's afraid of dissapointing me, and hes afraid I'll be mad at him like his parents.
I told him I'm his friend, not his mom, and yeah I'll be dissapointed, but I won't be mad. Rome wasn't built in one day.
And yet he still lies to me.
I tell him all the time, you can't help someone who isn't willing to help himself.
He doesn't want to stop. He did for a while, but he just couldn't do it.
He eventaully lost his job, his car, his cell phone, every privillage he had.
And he still doesn't care.
He's done cocain, meth, heroine, morphien,vikaden, adderal, ... everything.
I'v told him everything I can possibley think of, That I'm always here for him.
He used to run away from home alot beucase he never got along with his parents much, andI was the first person he'd come to.
Now he goes to his dealers.
Doesn't tell me anything anymore.
He claims I'm not his best friend anymore, he tells EVERYTHING and talks about EVERYTHIGN to our other friend now.
He says shes always there for him and she'll listen to him no matter what.
And I told him thats only becuase she does the drugs with him. So it's alot easier for him to talk to her about it than it is to talk to me about it.
This is soo irritating, I just want my old friend back.

He ran away once and went to his dealers house and they did ALOT of coke, he told NO ONE where he was but some how, something told me where he was and sure enough, he was there. I feel like I'm sent here to look after him, I feel like I need to help him get better and fix himself... but anyway when he ran away that one time one of our friends told me he was going out to look for him and I asked to come with, he picked me up and he just told me he wanted someone to rodie with.
I was so angry. I was out looking for my best friend, and people that he calls his friends didn't care where he was at all!
His mother came to my house crying her eyes out asking me where he was. I felt so bad for her, she knew what he was doing and just wanted to make sure he was okay.
But he wouldn't call her or me or anyone to let us know where he was.
I feel so helpless, am I trying to hard to be like his mother or something? I just want to help  him, this isn't good, drugs have taken over his life 100%.  I just want him back. I know it'll take a while, but I really have no idea what I can do anymore, I'm not going to give up.

I belive you have to fight for what you want.
I'm going to fight to get my best friend back.
I love him, and he loves(ed) me.

So basically, I joined this cite for some support, and advice from you guys, I really need help with him. I have no idea what to do anymore.

Does anyone have any ideas for me?
I'm desprit.

Message me pleaseee.

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