I relapsed after almost 4 months being cut free.
I’m so conflicted I can’t even think straight.
At this moment I truly I hate myself.
I feel weak.
I feel broken.
I feel flawed.
I feel worthless.
But most of all I feel ashamed.
Ashamed that my addiction has more power over me then I do it.
My bran is so mad but my body is content.
I’m relived like no other I fell light and fluid.
I’m mad, furious I want to hurt the nearest thing insight but I have no room left on my body.
I’m upset and devastated. I was doing so well and it’s like in the moment it didn’t matter. All the fighting and waiting and trying means nothing.
I f**ked up.
I f**ked up one hundred and sixty one times and I can’t take it back.
