|
Sober by the grace of God
OFFLINE
|
|
|
Female
44 years old
Johnson City, New York
Profile Views: 3240
 [ 75 ]
|
| PERSONALITY TYPE: |
Skeptic |
| LAST LOGIN: |
04/21/2008 12:09:57 |
|
 |
Wednesday, November 07, 2007 12:22 PM
My Life as I see it
I am 43 and I am an alcoholic. This is my story as I remember it:
I grew up in what I thought was a "normal" childhood. We always did things together as a family. The only vivid memories I have of my childhood is that there was always drinking at family gateherings and once in a while my father would stop at the bar after work and we were not allowed to eat dinner until he got home because we always sat down as a family for dinner. It didn't matter what time he got home, we still waited.
I want to say I had my first drink at 13, but now that I think back that would be incorrect. Starting at the age of 4 or 5 we were allowed a glass of wine at Holiday dinners. We also liked visiting my Grandfather because we always got a small glass of his beer.
So I guess when I was 13 that was my first drunk. Me and a bunch of girls raided our parents liquor cabinets and got drunk on the railroad tracks. As I look back sometimes I have to laugh because my mom thought I was smoking cigarettes. I pretty much became a binge drinker. When I had it I drank it. At around 16 or 17 I would get drunk and not come home for days. I also became sexually active. I became pregnant when I was 19. The father of my daughter wanted nothing to do with me or her. I cleaned up my act and put all my effort into raising my daughter. This lasted for about 4 yrs then I started hanging out at the bars again. Once again getting drunk every weekend. Sometimes making it home, sometimes not. I also did some crack and acid at this time but it was never a real big turn on for me. I continued this binge drinking until I was 26 or 27. This is when I met my husband. He was an alcoholic but at this time I don't even think I knew what an alcoholic was. I was blind to all of the signs. We were not married at this time but lived together. Again the binge drinking on the weekends started again. Then in the spring of 1992 I became pregnant. I quit drinking and had my second daughter in 1993. In 1995 I had a son and was still not drinking. In the spring of 1997 we bought a house and somewhere in the moving process I became pregnant with our 3rd child. I delivered her 3 months premature. Things were good until the end of 2000. I started drinking again and when my husband (we were married in 1998) told me I couldn't drink I just became A closet drinker. I was no longer a binge drinker. I was drinking whenever I could. Well in the summer of 2001 me and the hubby had a huge blowout. We had both been drinking. He left and I got stupid drunk. The curtains on our enclosed back porch caught on fire and to make this long story short, I was taken to jail, the kids were put in foster care and eventually I took a plea bargain. I think it was 2nd degree arson and I was given weekend work release for 6 months. To me this was a gift so I went to AA and stayed sober but I never really worked the program. I was just there.
Now fast forward to 2005, I was drinking again and this time I was drinking everyday. My husband didn't say anything because he was not working and I was supplying the beer and cigarettes. (yes I am also codependent and an enabler) This continued until Sept 2007 when him and my 13 yr old daughter got into an argument he grabbed her and she had him arrested. He went to jail and I drank heavily for 2 weeks thinking it would solve everything. Then on Sept 17th I "woke up" and realized that I wasn't drinking because I had problems. I had problems because I was drinking. So I took my last drink that night and haven't drank since. It has not been easy because right now I am not going to meetings regularly or working my program as I should be. I know that my sobriety comes FIRST because without that I have nothing. My husband did enter rehab in Oct. He gets out tomorrow. (he can't live in this house at this point due to the fact that there is an order of protection and CPS is involved)
Now I start my journey to live a clean and sober life.
Current Mood: Scared
|
|
|
I am 43 yrs old. I always felt that I had my drinking under control until some unfortunate events happened in the beginning of Sept. My life has become unmanageable do to alcohol. I stopped drinking on Sept.18th. My husband entered detox on Oct 18th. Both of us are still sober and in treatment(outpatient). Due to poor choices on my part, my children were removed from the household on Nov. 14th. I was 2 months sober at this time. I am determined to remain sober and to get my children back.
|
sober91807 has 28 friend(s)
|
|
