BIBLE,RECOVERY BOOKS,DAILY MEDITATIONS,INSPIRATIONAL,I REALLY LIKE THESE AUTHORS...IYANLA VANZANT BOOKS,EMILIE BARNES,MELODY BEATTIE

MY DRUG OF CHOICE WAS CRACK COCAINE,I AM A VICTIM OF MENTAL,EMOTIONAL,PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL CHILD ABUSE.I STARTED EXPERIENCING DRUGS AND ALCOHOL AT AGE 13.I SUFFERED FROM DEEP DEPRESSION AND THROUGH THE YEARS I TOOK ON TOO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES AND CARING FOR OTHERS SUFFERING AND THEIR CHILDREN HANDING OUT MORE THAN I COULD GIVE,I WANTED TO SAVE THE WORLD.IT FINALLY CAME CRASHING DOWN ON ME I WAS ALWAYS CRYING AND LAYING AROUND IN MY DARK HOUSE AND SEPERATED FROM THE WORLD OUTSIDE AND I COULDNT MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY HANDLE RESPONSIBILITIES,INCLUDING THE RAISING OF MY CHILDREN AND I ASKED THIER DAD TO TAKE CARE OF THEM,I AM THE MOTHER OF FOUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN.I BECAME MORE DEPRESSED AFTER THIS AND SUNK DEEPER INTO A BLACK HOLE.THIS IS WHEN THE DRINKING ESCALATED.I FELT GUILTY BECAUSE I WASNT STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN.I COULDNT TALK TO PEOPLE UNLESS I WAS BUZZED...SOON I WAS NUMBING ALL PAIN OF THE PAST .CRACK COCAINE CAME LATER AT AGE 35.THAT IS WHEN I FINALLY LOST TOTAL CONTROL OF MY LIFE.I SUFFERED FROM VERY LOW SELF ESTEEM SHAME AND GUILT!!!I WAS A PARANOIDAL WALKING ZOMBIE.I WAS SUBJECT TO ALL CLOSE CALLS POSSIBLE,DEATH,RAIDS,VIOLENCE YOU NAME IT.I GOT TOTALLY SCARED I WAS GOING TO DIE OR LIVE IN PRISON FOR A VERY LONG TIME!!!I THEN ENTERED THE ROOMS OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS AND ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.I RELAPSED EVERY TWO TO THREE MONTHS FOR TWO IN A HALF YEARS TIL MARCH 18TH 2007 AND BEEN CLEAN AND I MOVED AWAY FROM THE NOWHERE LAND I WAS IN WHERE I WAS SURROUNDED BY MEMORIES AND PAIN TO A SAFE PLACE SINCE I GOT A JOB THIRTY DAYS CLEAN AND SELF ESTEEM ROSE,I FELT SELF WORTHY.I THEN BECAME A MEMBER OF SOCIETY.I NOW WORK AS A MANAGER,WAITRESS AND BUFFET OPENER AND ATTENDENT.I HAVE A WARM HOUSE TO LIVE IN INSTEAD OF THE CRACK HOUSES AND RUNNING TO THE ENABLERS THAT FED MY MISEREY AND PAIN EVEN MORE,NOW I CAN BE MYSELF AND I AM NOW DOING THIS FOR MYSELF AND NOT JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS OTHERS I GOT MY FAMILY BACK AND A RELATIONSHIP ONCE AGAIN WITH ONE OF MY BABY'S DADDY.I HAVE GOTTEN EVERYTHING I EVER LOST BACK AND MORE!!!I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN GOD,JESUS THE SON AND THE HOLY GHOST .I THANK MY HIGHER POWER,MY CHILDREN,MY MARG AND ROCKY,RON ,MY SUPPORT GROUPS AND THE ROOMS OF AA AND NA,OR I WOULD NOT BE HERE TODAY.I JUST RECEIVED SOME VERY BAD NEWS ABOUT MY HEALTH NOW AND WILL BE GOING THROUGH A LOT OF TREATMENTS ETC. AND HAVE TO CHANGE A LOT OF WAYS OF I LIVE TODAY ONCE AGAIN. IT IS MY LIVER I HAVE A VIRUS THAT WILL CAUSE LIVER DAMAGE AND HOPEFULLY THE TREATMENTS I AM GOING THROUGH WILL HELP PROLONG MY LIVER LIFE AS WELL AS MY OWN.I AM STILL CLEAN AND SOBER THROUGH THIS AND HAVE GREAT SUPPORT.I KNOW THAT THROUGH ALL THAT I BEEN THROUGH IN LIFE I CAN BE HERE FOR OTHER SUFFERERS AND RECOVERING PERSONS SHARING MY EXPERIENCE,COURAGE,STRENGTH AND HOPE WITH THEM.THERE IS A REASON GOD KEPT ME SAFE AND PULLED ME THROUGH ALL THIS ...I BELIEVED IN HIM AND THAT HIS WILL FOR ME .IS THE COMING OF GREAT THINGS IN STORE! I WANT TO BE HERE FOR GOD TO SERVE HIM IN REACHING OUT TO THE HAND TO OTHERS STILL SUFFERING.LOVE...HUGS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU!!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND MAY YOU FIND PEACE AND SERENITY!!!AND I AM PRAYING FOR YOU!!!

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GOD,MY RECOVERY,LIFE,BEING A MOTHER,MY FAMILY,MY RECOVERY FAMILY,THE GREAT OUTDOORS,I AM A NATURE GIRL!!! CAMPING ESPECIALLY!!! WAVE RUNNERS,BOATS,MYRECOVERYSPACE.COM,
HISHOLYSPACE.COM,RECOVERY SITES...AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!
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THE DEVIL,DRUGS,ALCOHOL,HATERS,GOSSIP,BACK STABBERS,AND GIVING UP!!!!

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