Hi, I've been in the Al-Anon program for just over a year and a half now.
This is my fourth time in Al-Anon...I never could get past that first step before...how could I be powerless?? I was the one who kept everything running as smooth as possible and I was the responsible one!!
Well...it took one failed alcoholic relationship after another, before it finally sank into this thick skull that I was VERY sick!!
I was choosing the same kind of man over and over to try to prove to myself and everyone else of course, just how wonderful I was...I mean, how could I not be wonderful when I took on these poor guys who had so many problems and was able to work miracles in their lives and make him such a better person and get rid of all of those nasty old bad habits and ways of his?? ~sigh~
The problem is that it never quite seemed to work out that way!!
Oh well...maybe the next one would shape up....that was the story of my life...and man, have I been sick!!
Thank God I finally realized it with this last relationship I am now in. Oh...and, he's an alcoholic too by the way..lol.
It finally hit me right between the eyes...that this was my sickness...choosing alcoholics over and over and then trying to change or 'fix' them to make myself feel better!
Talk about having a God complex!! ;-)
Well anyway, I am now happier than I've ever been since I've been learning that I can't change someone else and have decided to work on changing the things about me that have been ruining my life and making me crazy.
Oh, by the way...I'm also a recovering nicotine addict and since I stopped smoking 9 mo. ago, I've discovered that one addiction can turn into another and am now working on some compulsive eating that somehow slipped in while I was working on quitting smoking and just hasn't gone away like I thought it would!!! lol.
I guess that we just need to realize that we are addicts and that behavior can come in many different forms...just when we think we have one addiction licked, here comes another one!! Or at least that's been my experience so far.
Anyway, I'm glad that I found this site and am looking forward to getting to know some people and learning more about myself.
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