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So we went to family court today. I begged my husband to listen and not say anything.(He is also a recovering alcoholic-97 days sober) not only did he not listen he had to make a scene. It was the initial hearing so not knowing what this was I did not think we needed counsel. The judge asked if we would like it adjourned until we were represented. I said yes, my husband said he did not want counsel, he would represent himself. the judge said he did not recommend this as we were facing serious charges. Of course the hubby says the accusations are lies (which some of them are)- GOOD reason to get counsel. He will not get a lawyer. I signed up for a court appointed one.
Well now his old behaviors have kicked in (no he is not drinking, YET) and he is being a stubborn ass. He is demanding that our daughter drop the order of protection (not to her, he is saying this all to me) or he will have nothing to do with her ever again. Then he jumps to he wants $1000 in his bank account when the tax return comes in (he hasn't worked in over 3 years) He is going to go to court and get full custody of the kids and if I am lucky he might let me have visitation. and on and on and on. So now he is not talking to me and walking around the house like he is king. This is definite old behavior that I have not seen since he has been sober. I am scared for both of us but mostly me because I am the one that is feeling the pain. I have put so much into this relationship and it appears that it doesn't matter to him. My sobriety still comes first but I don't know how to make the pain go away. Are all men like this when they are in early recovery??? I thought I was strong enough to handle anything but am not feeling very strong right now.

Tags: Depressed

Attract Positives NOT Negatives
By Byron Pulsifer

Everyday, without fail, there are a host of negatives in the world around us. Some of these negatives are passed down by family and friends, and some are in every conversation you hear between co-workers, or those you just happen to hear at the coffee shop, or around the water cooler. Just ask yourself, how many times have you engaged in negative thinking, negative conversations, or personal complaints? On the other hand, how many times have you heard positive conversations, conversations of gratitude expressing thankfulness for what we have, of what we can do, or the choice of options that are available to us?

We are fortunate to live in a democracy where free choice to do, to have, to be what we desire is available. The sad situation, however, is that most people have lost sight of available options by falling prey to negative messages from those who choose NOT to make the most of countless opportunities. What is really interesting to learn is that you need to develop a mindset of "creativity" not "competitiveness". This concept was clearly explained in a book from 1910 by Wallace D. Wattles, called "Science of Getting Rich". Napoleon Hill also wrote about aspects of the power of the positive mind in his book, "Think and Grow Rich", first published in 1937.

Despite information available to the contrary, it would seem that a lot of people would rather complain and moan about what they don't have, can't do, or wish they could have or do without exercising even one act that could start to turn their lives into a positive. Sure, there are obstacles – sure there are challenges – no one ever said that you'd get everything you wanted for nothing. The real fact is this – you can do what you want, have more, be more, but you need to develop a vision, an outlook of possibilities not an age old path of seeing a problem in everything you view.

Simple truth. By forming a thought or vision in your mind, you connect to a source of energy that can create what you're thinking about. If your thoughts are negative, you'll probably attract negative events into your life. You will see the bad, not the good. On the other hand, you can attract positives by being positive. Just try a simple exercise like smiling and saying hello to everyone at work. When you smile, in all likelihood, you will receive a warm response in return.

       ***************************************

A smile and a kind word goes a long way.

To the strong soul who learns to defy his or her own fears.

Life is a test insistent upon strength
Each person is challenged at analogous lengths
Yet the vie to subsist will exhaust the timorous some
For the Lord's race is imputed to all...to run

This is to avow: you must believe
As you are special...allow no one to deceive
For what you have learned will make you stronger
If only to love and be loved one day longer

Others may look upon the Sun going down
A vanishing hope, the benighted frowns
But you must learn to see the resilience of the night
As a testament to each given day...to your unforgiving might

Thus revere your kin and formative youth
Whilst both bleed one's vigor to nourish this truth:
Strength is innate and must be held deep inside
A rule in life's book by which everyone should abide

So tonight when the Sun has given up and retired
Look upon the day and all that which you have inspired
For everything you wish for will someday come true
Your strength is there....your strength is YOU!

written by: G. Scott Compton
Copyright ©2004 G. Scott Compton

  From the insatnt you wake up in the morning until the moment you nod off to sleep at night, you have the opportunity to make countless decisions: decisions about the things you do, decisions about the words you speak, and decisions about the thoughts you to choose to think.

  If you're facing one of life's major decisions here are some things you can do:

   1. Gather as much information as you can.

   2. Don't be to impulsive.

   3. Rely on the advice of trusted friends and mentors.

   4. Pray for guidance.

   5. Trust the quiet inner voice of your conscience.

   6. When the time for action arrives, act. Procrastination is

       the enemy of progress,  don't let it defeat you. 

  People who can never seem to quite make up their minds usually make themselves miserable. So when in doubt, be decisive. It's the decent way to live.

            &nb sp;           __________________________

 

We need to be able to make decisions based on what we know rather than on what we feel.

            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;           Joyce Meyer

Tags: Frustrated

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                 -Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Today's Thought

Trusting God with all your heart means resolving to obey God and to let him show you how to live in all areas of your life. As a human being with a sinful nature, you will never be able to completely achieve this goal in this life, but don't let that keep you from a commitment to do your best. As you trust God and seek his will, he will direct you to the people, places, and opportunities that he knows will give your life purpose and satisfaction.

Today's Plan

How committed are you to trusting God?

Taken from the book:

God's Daily Promises

Tags: Frustrated

In all things, be willing to listen to people around you.
None of us is really smart enough to go it alone. 
-- John Clendenin

 

Listen to what people say......I listen but only hear what I want to hear. Right now i am struggling with asking someone to sponsor me.Why is this? Am I afraid of what they will say? Do I fear rejection? Am I afraid of what they will think once they hear my past? I don't know the answers to these questions. IT IS A STRUGGLE FOR ME. Could it be that I have always had low self esteem? So for today I will listen because MY best thinking (not listening) is what got me here.

This was sent to me by a friend today. It came at a good time as I am dealing with alot of feelings with my court date coming up.
Thought I would share it

23rd Psalms For The Recovering Addict/Alcoholic

The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want.
He makes me to go to many meetings.
He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health.
He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake.
He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first.
He makes me more humble and grateful.
He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and gives me the wisdom to know the difference.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil.
For Thou are with me, your program, your way of life, your twelve steps, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: rationalization, fear, anxiety, self-pity, resentment.
You anoint my confused mind and jangled nerves with knowledge, understanding, and hope.
No longer am I alone, neither am I afraid, nor sickened, nor helpless, nor hopeless.
My cups runs over,
Surely sobriety and serenity shall follow me every day of my life, one day at a time, twenty-four hours at a time.
As I surrender my will to You and carry Your message to others, I will dwell in the house of Higher Power, as I understand him, one day at a time, forever and ever.
Amen


Author Unknown

Hope and patience are two sovereign remedies for all, the surest reposal, the softest cushions to lean on in adversity.
--Robert Burton

It is just as easy to think, "I can" as it is to think, "I can't." Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice. Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task. In either case, the task is the same - only the attitude is different.

But what a difference! The "I can" people are the ones we want to spend time with and to use as models. These are the people who either have never lost, or have worked to regain the positive outlook we are all born with. It never occurs to a baby, for example, that all that staggering and falling means he or she will never learn to walk. Babies grow, move forward, and succeed. They haven't learned to hang back or fear defeat. Knee-jerk negativity is something we can all do without. Let's backtrack to that time in our lives when all things were possible ... because they still are.

Today, I will focus on my successes. "I can" is my credo.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

Tags: Depressed

Step Two:  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
-- Step Two of Al-Anon

We come to believe in a better life through the powerful gift of other people - hearing them, seeing them, and watching the gift of recovery at work in their lives.  There is a Power greater than us. There is real hope now that things can and will be different and better for our life and us.

We are not in a "do it ourselves" program. We do not have to exert willpower to change. We do not have to force our recovery to happen. We do not have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps just so we believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves - one who will get the job done in our life. This Power will do for us what our greatest and most diligent efforts could not accomplish.

Our Higher Power will restore us to a sane and beneficial life. All we do is believe.

Look. Watch. See the people around you. See the healing they have found. Then discover your own faith, your own belief, your own healing.

Today, regardless of my circumstances, I will believe to the best of my ability that a Power greater than myself can and will restore me to a peaceful, sane way of living.

from the book

The Language of Letting Go

by Melody Beattie

I am working on this step but do believe that a Higher Power can relieve of my obssesion for today I do not have the desire to drink

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